#why is every interaction i have with this band with jack
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my favorite part about doing interviews is this interaction, which I have some version of every single time
me: does Ghost read queer to you? participant: ....obviously? me, making the "you like krabby patties don't you squidward" face: tell me why that is. participant: ...have you looked at them with your eyes. me, sighing: yes. listen. I know. I know exactly what you mean. intimately. deeply. to the core of my being, ok? but in order for me to use this as data, you have to tell me in EXPLICIT DETAIL why Swiss running up to Dew and screaming in his face and then jacking him off and then biting him, MULTIPLE NIGHTS IN A ROW, was gay. you have to do that so I can say "Nameless Ghouls interviewed either pointed at the Swiss/Dew Bite Incident or the Terzomega Mpreg Comment or Have You Seen Copia's Fucking Jackets when discussing the band's gayness"
when we're DONE with the interview, that's when we can do the eyes emojis back and forth at each other and do some combo of GIRLLLLL or whatever slang affectionate term you prefer.
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Ted Lasso Ep 3x09, I‘m scared, let‘s goo:
The music? What‘s going on
Also love how there are still so many fans behind them
Awww Roy and Beard falling dramatically
Colin🥺🥺🥺🥺 Isaac😔😔😠😠
Heart is breaking for Colin, he‘s trying so hard
Hope Keeley send some angry texts
Roy haha
Nate being all excited gor his gf to show up at work
Rupert here to ruin everything, Jade I love you for that whole interaction
„Amateur dialectologist“ literally shut up
„Yesh he‘s actually really decent“ yeah we‘ll se about that
Nah I need more of Beard in the press room,
Roy being screamed at by Rebecca is hilarious hehe
Issac saying „we‘re cowards“…. Ok
TRENTS HAIR HAS BEEN SPOTTED
YES IT‘S HAPPENING (Isaac stop side eyeing like that)
Aww it was far too short 🥺🥺🥺🥺 hope there‘s a part two when „give him a minute“ doesn‘t work
Uh oh, Rebecca with the wisdom
Rupert lurking behind Nate is so creepy ugh
Higgins complaining about Jacks handshake is just so on brand
ISAAC STOP BEING SO GRUMPY AND CHILDISH (love that Colin still tries constantly)
Oh so they have to talk it out to play right
Isaac…
Mentally preparing myself for the lockerroom talk
„Nothing we haven‘t heard before“ but now with a new perspective
Isaac giving Sam the captain band, storming off and Roy following him
Aww Jamie and Sam
Feeling the nervousness radiating from Trent and Colin, this is uncomfortable
„There are probably more people in this room who are gay“ guy looking at Jamie, ok
Trent side eye live reaction
Colin… are we doing what I think we‘re doing
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY JUST SKIPPED THAT
TRENTS PROUD SMILE
Oh boy Ted‘s anecdote here we go… Trent‘s tiny smile oh he down bad for real for real
„You don‘t have to go through it all by yourself“🥹🥹🥹🥹
Jamie hehe
Colin, yeah that would have been a great first option
Trent🥹🥹🥹🥹
„behind an inspirational turn from Colin Hughes“ oh they did not…. „Played like a man reborn“ uhh I guess why
Can this George guy finally get fired
Nate realizing what‘s going on and leaving
How awkward must it be for Trent to be back in the press room with every other journalist present
„New Trent“😭😭😭 said we didn‘t get to see Trent‘s reaction
Jade reading Murakami, I see👀
ISAAC AND COLIN TALKED IT OUT
Noo not the talk😭😭😭
Sad we didn‘t get the hug but this was still great 🥹
#so many emojis#haf to express my feeling#so many feelings#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#ted lasso 3x09#trent crimm#colin hughes#isaac mcadoo
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Spoken Word About Community and Anti Establishment
You are praised for your individuality. They pride you upon resourcefulness.
Great work today! Maybe if you work a little bit harder you’ll get that elusive holiday bonus?
Picture the life
Clock’s off. Time to go home.
Traffic is long, you’re too tired to make dinner.
Its alright there is a heralding force in the night
Mcdonalds, arbies, taco bell, wendys, panda express, jack in the box, in n out, whataburger, carls jr, hardees, sonic, dairy queen, chick fil a, kfc, raising kanes, zaxbys, el. Pollo. Loco
anymore?(audience participation)
Is open! Every building the same, welcome to the modern age, part for the logo upfront.
The walls are grey
The seats are gray
The road you took to get here is grey
The cars are gray
You. you are gray.
Live minimalist they say.
On the way home you see a flier for a show, you work late that night and really
You’d be too tired to go anyways
The radios on or maybe you listen to a podcast
The news runs on your television
It's those immigrants, those lgbts, its this or that, them or us
They are tearing down america! Stealing our jobs!
Or maybe you need a different approach
The job market is crashing, housing market is crumbling
Better watch it or you'll be crushed by the petro dollar when it falls
FEAR
FEAR FEAR
Another episode?
You can't get a date? It's the group of your interest that's the issue, they have evil dna.
Newest trend is out and you're the odd one out
Wanna fix your problems? Skincare is the answer
BUY
BUY
BUY
they tell you the solution! It's BUY and it's OUTRAGE! They tell you it's vote or death!
WHO IS THEY?!?!?
The ever infamous they?
Oh well that's my dad's band from the early 2000s
Oh it's break time! Fifteen minutes mandated
Watch some TikTok
CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME
dream of days of old
When you weren't weighed by how you value in gold
There are people who could help
They tell you they know the way
They love you
They want to help
Follow them
Be one of them
Live them
Love them
Know only their way
Awwww cat video
Times up!
One last vid…
Acab why don't we overthrow the government??
You dont have time to protest.
You have a job
to pay for your bills
and your loans
and for everything they scream to buy buy buy buy. You work to live.
No they say, live to work!!
You are so tired of them. So tired of gray. And you're too late to ever see a show by the infamous they.
How could you overthrow this system?
What time does anyone have for interacting with others?
Other people are horrible they tell you! Look at this karen! Other people are trying to take what you love. Other people are toxic manipulators. Other people could never love you and you them. Their clothes are cringe, their face is imperfect. They are not like you. They are different. You need to be different. You need to be like us. You need to be perfect. You need to be perfectly imperfect. You. you. You.
You think,,, that humans have never lived like this pre the industrial revolution. You miss your friends, your family. The music on the radio sucks.
Oh hey,, it's that 80s song you like.
Oh kurt cobain, sonic youth, and my favorite non political band rage against the machine were really in it now,,,,,
Stop stop
Stop stop stop. A sublime t shirt in a mall window. Lovings what i got? The only joy in your sadsack life was the barista giving you a medium when you only had enough for a small. Or was it the picture of the sunrise you took before getting into your car.
The song you liked on the radio.
The message from your friend saying they miss you. A facebook meme from your mom.
You think of these things and cannot stop.
She still uses the mug you made her in 7th grade. An old highschool acquaintance liked your status, one of the girls in the store complimented your outfit. You are here, you are present.
You in this moment and all of these people are connected.
You buy a trinket for your friend and make a reminder to have lunch with your mom.
Tiny joys you say. What else is there to cling to? Your highschool acquaintance posts a link to a crafting event at your public library.
You can't craft,
you go anyway.
You are tired of listening to they.
You are not like them and you find love in the difference.
You are like all these people and they are like you. Human.
The world is still hard and you are still tired but you have taken off your tinted sunglasses. Mcdonalds is still gray. The streets are still gray. But the sky? That's blue. Your friend's hair? Pink. the crochet pillows at your moms are orange, the baristas nails are purple, the guitarist at the diy shows pick is yellow, the pin you made at the library iis green.
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Growing up, Stuart didn’t have that many friends, so instead of birthing his egregious nature, he’d had to adopt and nourish it in the coming years. Then there was that blip in his history, a time he would often refer to as the Dark Ages, when he was a mean and insufferable kid to those around him to the point of everyone avoiding him like the plague. Luckily, it was short-lived—though some might say this new, polished version of himself wasn’t much better: a hulked out extrovert, feeding on every little interaction as if they were steroids. Still, he always made an effort to reconnect with those he’d made fond memories with, whether it was an old friend or a passing face in the crowd. After Amethyst’s break-up and the dwindling success of his own band, Stuart no longer had any reason to stay in touch with the members he used to open their shows for, but that wasn’t enough to cease their communication entirely. If anything, a part of him felt like it’d made them closer in ways that weren’t entirely business related; catching up now meant exchanging details from their personal lives, not just discussing schedules and sharing equipment. Stuart was first and foremost a performance artist, not a musician nor had he ever really considered himself to be one, but he was easily influenced by other people’s passions and he encouraged them all the same. Maybe that’s why he was a jack of all trades, but a master of none.
Barging into the diner like a bull in a china shop, Stuart did very little to not draw attention to himself. When he finally came to a stand in front of Antonio, he was out of breath, his orange hair unkempt and tousled by wind, and the left cuff of his pants was still rolled up from earlier when he had a cramp in his calf while helping Clem with a mural. Not that he was too shy to ask for a massage, but he didn’t want to risk a concussion as a consequence. “Shit, sorry! I totally forgot that the clock on set is, like, for decoration purposes. I mean, it should’ve occurred to me that I can’t fucking, like, freeze time, but alas. I hope you weren’t waiting long.” He beamed into Antonio’s shoulder, resisting the urge to pull him into another hug as soon as they drew away from each other. “Livin’ la vida loca, man, what else? But, hey, I promise, I’m no Stalker Sarah if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve got enough of your autographs to make a living off of eBay.” Making himself at home in one of the corner booths, Stuart leaned in a tad bit too enthusiastically and smacked the table. “This is fucking awesome! What’s up, dude? God, it’s been so long, hasn’t it? Like, what? Six, seven years? You’ve aged like fine wine.”
STATUS: closed for @biolumipunk (stuart) LOCATION: waterway diner
Stuart’s text wasn’t surprising. He and Antonio had kept in contact throughout the years, after all; he’s always been encouraging of any young musicians and their work, and the younger man had always been a solid presence to bounce off of. Contact between them isn’t rare.
No, it’s not the text itself that was surprising. What had surprised Antonio was his mention of being in town — Blue Harbor must have some sort of siren call, he thinks, if so many people from his past keep showing up here. He’d invited Toni out to lunch, to catch up properly, and he hadn’t been able to say no, really. Even if he’d been able to come up with an excuse, he doesn’t think he’d have wanted to skip out. It’s been a minute since anything from his past in Amethyst didn’t immediately make him want to throw up; but things have started shifting, slowly, since Roman. And maybe that’s just how wounds start to heal — with the proper care, attention, and support.
He’s been waiting at the diner for about ten minutes before he finally spots him — can’t help the small smile that tugs at his lips at the sight of him. He looks, of course, older, but no less enthusiastic than the last time Antonio had seen him in person. He waves the younger man over, and stands to bring him into a friendly hug, patting his back affectionately in the process. “Stuart,” he greets him, fondness decorating his tone. Pulling back, he can’t help but raise a curious eyebrow at the other. “What the fuck are you doing in Blue Harbor, kid?”
#ARCHIVE: QUINN STUART FRANCISCO.#STUART + ANTONIO.#its perf thank u!!!!#ignore me just yapping away plz<3
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Could you make a Naib with an assassin S/O I really like your orpheus one and I think it's an interesting concept
AAAA IM GLAD!! of course💓💓💓 went nuts w this prompt tbh
naib subedar with an assassin s/o headcanons🗡
if you think orpheus is good at sensing dangerous people, then naib will blow your socks off
naib, being an assassin of sorts himself, knows exactly who to avoid at first sight - based on someone's posture, gaze and general body language, he detects potential threats with ease and keeps away from them
although, compared to orpheus, he's not passive about it - his goal is not to avoid, but to kill. if he finds someone to be enough of a nuisance or thinks someone might be out to sabotage him and his mission getting rid of another body won't be a problem
you immediately sensed naib's presence, differing from all the others that radiated from the timid manor residents lurking and turning their back towards you
it was hostile, the way you felt his eyes pierce you from under his hood and the way he quickly slipped away into the darkness whenever your gaze fixated itself on him for too long. you hated to admit it, but it made your palms sweaty and your heartbeat faster
for the following few months, your and naib's interactions were limited to sharp glances and silent threats whispered out under your breaths - him planning how to push you into a corner with a knife by your throat in case he senses the tension rise up, and you flinching whenever his arm swayed, ready to grip his wrist and dodge whatever punch he might throw at you
...it could have went on for days until the thing happened. the thing that made naib pull his hood over his face whenever he was in your presence, and made you bury your face in your hands every time naib passed by
it was just a normal match with smiley. y'know, scraped knees, blood soaked shoulders and engine particles by your feet
luca was safely decoding the final cipher as martha swiftly pulled the pallets down and stunned poor joker for the second time this match. you were rushing right by martha, giving her some extra support so she could push her kite until the cipher's primed. what could possibly go wrong?
...well, naib, being protective of martha, decided to rush in to help at the same time as you...
...and crashed right into you as you ran, knocking you down with him and making you drop all your hidden blades in the process
this, of course, resulted in a long-term ban from matches considering that carrying unregistered weapons isn't allowed, yet what interested you the most was naib's reaction
as you dropped them, instead of scolding you or using this opportunity to get you punished, he crouched down by your side, shielding your daggers away from the hunter's field of view, and whispered "be more careful next time."
someone who was supposed to be your rival, your unconfirmed nemesis, covering for you? something weird was going on
you decided to confront naib about it one day, to try and get out at least some information or sign out of him even if he stays silent
luckily, it didn't take long for you to find him - you found him leaning against a tree, a half-eaten sushi roll in his hand
"mind if i ask you something about yesterday, naib?" you whispered, him only curiously tilting his head in response
"ask away." he didn't even turn around to face you as he said that
"about yesterday... why did you cover for me?" why did it feel degrading, saying it out loud? it was like losing a bet and shamefully admitting it
silence ensued. suddenly, he replied back, hesitatingly, "i pitied you. don't know why, but i did. was in the same situation before, so that's why, i guess."
with that sentence, it was almost like a spark appeared between you two - it took time, effort and coincidences, but eventually you two started to warm up to each other
oh, you broke your wrist while kiting? what a coincidence, he has an extra pair of elbow pads! naib's wounds started bleeding again - you found a syringe and band-aids tucked in the pocket of your jacket, how weird..
as time passed, you found yourself laying your head on naib's shoulder, his hand tangled in your hair and gently twirling your locks around his fingers - neither of you jolting or reacting badly whenever it happened, it just came naturally
it was never official, but you two gradually formed a relationship. it was deeper than a friendship, more than a family bond and more than just comradeship
sometimes, you wondered if the boy crying, head buried in your chest, is the same man that once wanted you dead on first sight. and when naib held you tight and kissed each one of your battle wounds, he always recalled the way you furrowed your brows the first time you laid your eyes on him
perhaps it was destined to happen, and maybe really two minuses make a plus - two hurt people with impermeable façades broke through each other's 💞
#identity v#idv#idv headcanons#identity v headcanons#idv fanfic#idv imagines#idv x reader#identity v x reader#idv scenarios#identity v x you#assassin reader#naib idv#naib subedar idv#idv naib#identity v naib#naib subedar#naib x reader#mercenary idv#identity v mercenary#mercenary
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ok but i have many thoughts abt jack's family. hopefully this is coherent but i'm just writing what i think of so buckle up lol
he says that him being a werewolf is a family thing so were they all werewolves? i love that image; every full moon the entire family just turns into werewolves. sibling werewolves, baby werewolves, parent werewolves, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. it's like a big family reunion every month lol
One thing I love abt wolves in general is how surprisingly similar their family dynamics are w humans’. They play w their siblings and they bother their parents and they fight and they get in trouble and do everything humans do. So when the entire family changes into werewolves, that’s basically it. They still act and interact the same way, they just look different. You still have ‘long suffering mom,’ ‘baby that won’t stop crying,’ ‘annoying little sibling,’ ‘cool older cousin,’ ‘grandma who secretly spoils her grandkids but you don’t want to cross her,’ all the good family roles lol Basically I want to see a werewolf family all hanging out and just being together
But now on a more angsty note, Jack always refers to his family in the past tense. Did smth happen to them? In in interview they said Jack could be between 200-400 years old but looks like he’s in his 40s-50s which means, using a human lifespan as a ratio, a werewolf could potentially live over 1000 years. They would be really old but it’s possible. So unless there was some werewolf disease that went around, it’s unlikely jack outlived his family bc of natural causes. If they all got hunted… that makes the show sadder and angsty but I think that’s giving too much credit to the hunters lol There were four of them against one of jack in the show and they still all died. Plus all those guards he killed… And they had the bloodstone and still lost… So idk how likely it is that his whole family got hunted lol
He also mentions in the tomb w Elsa that by doing smth very specific, we try not to be like our families even tho they follow us. Maybe his family’s still alive but he chose to leave. Maybe they were really into the killing and violence part of it and he couldn’t take it anymore. Or maybe he did smth ‘dishonorable,’ like Elsa, and got disowned. Idk there are a lot of possibilities here.
Maybe that’s why he was being so eager to make friends w her beyond having a powerful ally. Although I think he is just naturally polite and kind, he really went much further in trying to befriend Elsa than the other hunters he talked to. Maybe he thought that since they were both (possibly) kicked out of their own families, or at least were the black sheep, they could band together in a more substantial way.
But either way, the point is, he’s supposed to have a big family and as far as we’ve seen all he has now is Ted (and maybe Elsa? Who knows). I need him to have a big found family made up of all his friends and they all love and support each other
#i think abt this a lot#marvel#mcu#wwbn#werewolf by night#jack russell#ted sallis#man thing#elsa bloodstone#werewolves#werewolf by night meta#I guess
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Well no joke, hecc you too. I literally had to stop myself short from finishing a sentence during drafting this that started off “the closest we ever did get to see to what that ability to introspect would do to him was Zib because-“
And I stopped because I realized that Zib is really squirmy and hard to use as an example for much on this front, because Dib’s still the dominant majority of that fusion. But damn you this is such a delicious tangent. The most I brought myself to speak of it without poking was this here in the tags

Like they’re literally mirrors of the worst in each other in a lot of ways but the bit that distinguishes them the MOST to me is that Zim is the sorest loser and Dib is a sore fucking winner. Zim could never cope with being in Dib’s position and knowing it. That selective mental blindness to failure is all he has because whenever he DOES have to accept defeat, at best he throws a screaming, rampaging tantrum.
At worst, he can’t go on if he can’t see a way to bounce back, or if he loses his faith in that glorified version of himself. That’s why his crash in Enter the Florpus Happens. That’s why “Mopiness of Doom” happens. Dib, the arch nemesis, is necessary for that inner narrative to not expire. Zim knows he’s the main character, and protagonists, especially those of legends are only as compelling as the monsters they slay. He needs his antagonist to validate his invasion, because Red/Purple’s half-hearted humoring can only give him so much juice when he’s witnessing his own stagnation in the field and every other invader speeding past him in their progress. Everyone else on Earth is either pathetically unthreatening, or they don’t give him the time of day.
Dib’s the godsend excuse he needs to explain why the he’s not living up to his expectations- Someone else to be “the problem” so he doesn’t have to have that band snap (spiral into an introspective depression or meltdown). He’s not even aware that this is the nature of their symbiosis. I fully believe he would kill Dib again, just as remorselessly as in “Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy” if given the chance. And he would celebrate… until it dawns on him that he still can’t conquer the earth and that Dib’s defeat actually didn’t slay the dragon. Zim is freaking pitiful to me in how jacked up and kind of destined for self implosion he is. He only thrives and feels his self worth in a constant state of conflict and chaos, neither winning or losing.
In other words, he’s a perfect war machine. An enthusiastic tool of perpetual conflict and mass destruction,
if only he could actually be controlled. Then he’d be the best thing to happen to Irkens since nachos. Sucks for them, though, he’s designed not to be.
However, I digress. As for Dib, there’s no effing way that twerp has any clue either about what’s going on in Zim’s head/back. He doesn’t even have enough of the full picture to guess at it, and besides, he has his own priorities and his own savior of the world complex he needs Zim for in just a similar fashion. But while Zim is teetering on the edge of that aforementioned lovecraftian brand of melodramatic darkness, Dib can actually take a narrative punch.
This kid doesn’t have the luxury of a malfunctioning neurology that auto-slaps down offense or uncomfortable information. Neither does he have decades of military propaganda that propped him up as the universe’s pinnacle species since birth. He’s a freaking 12 year old human boy. He for a decent part, at least much better than Zim, knows his own size and position in the galaxy. This alien is the invader, and he’s playing home team on defense. In fact, Dib has seemingly lived most of his damn life so far on defense. He doesn’t have a lot of victories he can hold onto for a boost and he doesn’t forget it. He doesn’t have reliable allies or servants. He has ONE human being he somewhat gets along with and can have occasionally positive interactions with. Yeah, it’s sad to see that it’s led to him developing a remarkably negative self image and some amount of self loathing, but Dib has actually, somehow, managed himself pretty well under that. He gets up after falls fine, he shrugs off near-death close calls, and he looks this overpowered, lunatic bug freak right in the spider eyes and says to himself “Yeah. This is the fight I’m choosing, and I’m going to win because I have to.” Zim’s bubble wrapped. Dib is tempered in flame, with a self image that has nowhere to go but up.
And he actually still has a hobby or two outside of Zim. He’s arrogant in his own way, but not to the point of inhumanity. He’s an antagonist, but Zim is a villain. If Zim wins, there’s a timer ticking to some point where he still comes freaking undone and is unsatisfied. If Dib wins, really wins, that fixes Dib. And that’s a perfectly logical narrative to weave, given the facts. But goddamn is dib really awful at taking a W without being really overcompensative about it.
Yet…the Zib case.
Your question, right.
My answer, at least under the web I’ve weaved, is definitely the latter option. Where I considered some fear I had of the idea of Dib’s ability to put together and not sugarcoat shit with Zim’s whole life story, banishment and fake invasion and sabotaging his own leaders and all… you’d especially worry for that seeing that Dib’s seemingly conquered the PAK in some fashion, given that it hasn’t killed him and Zim’s personality is either erased or dormant…
but that’s not what actually happened. Instead, we actually did see Dib being the one who survived, but not untainted by the merge. He was just the next host for the PAK’s double edged sword- superior intellect at the cost of bearing the involuntary madness, warts and all. If that sickness could overcome the collective control brains, how tf was a single human’s mind supposed to stand a chance against the same corruption?
Potential spoiler for anyone who never caught up on og Adventure time, but in other words, Dib basically did the equivalent of murdering the ice king, and then slapping the cursed crown onto his own big fat head in a reckless grasp for power. Which, in adventure time, messing with the ice crown does not go well. For anyone. Ever. It’s the classic folly of he who fucks around with things beyond his limited understanding, in his ignorance, isn’t ready to contend with the consequences.
Fuck around, the universe lets you find out, no matter who or what you think you are.
And the funny thing is, if you actually read Lovecraft, that’s the real core soul of his horror, not repulsion of the spooky scary monsters just because they’re out of this world.
But the horror of Zib is that he smoothly rose up to both embrace and embody the paradox that keeps Zim going, but with Dib’s sense to competently see a plan through setbacks. Zib is the brutality of the invader, given the humanity to empathize with others well enough to make them believe his lies too. He’s Zim’s ferocity and Dib’s cynical bitterness given control back, and that’s what makes him the most dangerous entity in the entire franchise.
So there was a note under my post about Zim hovering a finger over the self destruct switch on his first day on Earth that just cracked open something in my mind.

Cause…Oh. Oh hecc you, @murhuedur. You actually touched on like, my favorite thing about this character, period. I really like this take, I do. It’s a good one. I ponder, still,
In my own opinion, it’s actually genuine confidence and arrogance, but Zim’s delusions of grandeur are as a thin rubber band. They can stretch out to wild lengths and remain malleable enough to bend around truth as he wills,
But there’s a hard limit out there eventually, and should reality require him to stretch his cognitive dissonance just too far, it’s a violent snap-back to full clarity. I don’t think he’s faking it or always lying to everyone else about what hot shit he is, because I think he fully believes those lies about as fast as he can speak them, even if he will later realize he was wrong after a cosmic punch to the face.
Like, Zim’s smart, but smart people aren’t inherently rational ones. Within Zim, the tallest, hell, maybe even Skoodge, there’s sometimes this very short-sighted flippancy about what is objectively true/false that peeks out every now and again in their psychology. I mean, humans sometimes do this too when it’s convenient to their interests, just, obviously not to goofy cartoon character levels if they want to function in society.
Zim has whatever this flaw is and cranked up to 11, maybe as a side effect of his PAK defects. Sometimes it gets him into DEEP shit, but it’s also his biggest mental shield. Zim has like no fortitude against spiraling into a full on depression or a justifiable panic attack over the smallest concession of being an absolute failure to his race. That weaponized denial that makes him so dangerous to himself and others also keeps him together and motivated forward. But it’s not largely a conscious lie he’s telling himself. It’s genuine faith he’s trying to manifest into matter through sheer force of his will.
His dogmatic mantra, “I am Zim” and what it means to him is a statement he holds on such conviction it overpowered and hijacked the ego of 3 control brains at once.
If I were inserting him into DnD he’d have the wisdom stat of a stale poptart and a 20+ thrown into charisma. He’s faking it without even understanding he’s faking it.
But were he completely detached from reality, he’d be WAY more likely than even now to accidentally get himself killed. While a narcissistic level of self esteem is what lets him ignore and selectively unhear inconvenient truths, the adrenaline of immediate life or death danger is what grounds him back in the real world. You notice over time that as self-sabotaging as he normally is, he seems to act his most rational and competent when he’s suddenly put against the grindstone and self preservation HAS to jump into the driver’s seat. He basically survives his day to day on a tightrope between a falsely glorious narrative of himself, and his perceptive anxiety both tugging him to land on either side of the fence when something big happens.
In “The Trial”, he wastes very little time on his expected bullshit or his confidence in being able to just win over the approval of his judges.. by virtue of being his awesome self. He spent most of that ordeal on the verge of a heart attack, squirmed to find an escape, and actually tried to DENY causing the death of two Almighty Tallests (reminder that he usually owns up to his atrocities with downright offensive pride). He understood the full gravity of an existence evaluation and how cooked his goose was. As soon as the situation resolves and he’s no longer in that danger, it’s right back to full trust of his status as an invader, and in Red and Purple as his biggest fans. When his disguise starts to slip in front of Skool kids he knows are dumb as a bag of rocks, he can silver tongue his way around that without skipping a beat. Losing his disguise in front of a bunch of alien-obsessed adults? Uh oh, pants-shitting terror, this is potentially game-over levels of bad, immediately gtfo of here. Stand there, chest beat, and scold the obviously rogue duty-mode Gir all day until the second it actually tries to kill you and you suddenly have to realize you’re not the one holding the cards anymore to save your own life.
The other way this quirk of his really shows through is in his selective memory. Zim has this skill to repress down and push away unpleasant experiences that I think some of us can only dream we had. I love it because it’s equal parts a comedic and analytical goldmine.
Tak, who actually posed a legit threat to his entire mission and tried herself to chip through that massive wall of denial he’s shielded in- same Tak who’s powerful af ship was stolen and desecrated by Zim’s arch nemesis… she’s not just an afterthought in his mind after that mess. He’s literally pushed that one out of his thoughts altogether in the comics. Like she, and Skoodge, who he can’t fucking stand, might as well have never even existed, even while GIR’s trying to remind him. That time he played around with time travel and it was one of the biggest clusterfucks he quickly lost control of? The bologna incident he stooped so low as to ask dib to help him with? You must be thinking of someone else. Nope. Not a thing. Lalala, can’t even hear you. This is also what makes it no wonder he deeply struggles with actually learning from certain mistakes.
From an outsider’s eye this behavior of his is baffling. It makes him look actually insane or at least obnoxiously obstinate. And I think both assumptions are half right, because this is clearly not the result of mere stupidity. Those truths are simply wayyyy too discordant with his view of himself to devote surface memory to, or too uncomfortable, unless and until, of course, you confront him with them in a fashion where that rubber band has to snap, that bubble pops, and he instantly sobers out of that complacency.
youtube
Literally god forbid he ever stops being defective in this way or is given the ability to reckon with the reality of his situation and his history all at once. I’m not even just talking about his job or banishment. I’m talking about his entire life. This chaotic, flexible, incoherent mindstate is the only branch he’s holding onto from dropping into a much more horrifying chasm beneath himself, the depth of which we can only guess. I straight up have no idea what he would do or what could happen to him if he could, even for a moment, rationally comprehend his every action, memory, and empirical truth all at the same time. Seriously, leave that Pak’s Gordian Knot be, or I imagine there could be an HP Lovecraft type of breakdown in the making.
#invader zim#iz#iz analysis#dib membrane#iz zib#iz comic spoilers#scarlet talks about things#long ass post
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Baby Halloween | Konoha, Sakusa
Pairing: Konoha X Reader (female), Sakusa X Reader (female)
Genre: the fluffiest of halloween fluffs with haikyuu dads you’ll ever read 🥺
Author’s Note: I know it’s november- Gifs from @rivaillerose 💛💛
Baby Halloween | Kenma and Kuroo // Baby Halloween | Kita, Tsukishima // Baby Halloween | Suna, Osamu
Warnings! Haikyuu dads with kids, post time skip
Konoha:
“Is this thing on?” Konoha’s face was blurry right in front of the camera as he set the camera propped up on the staircase
“Yes, ‘Nori,” you laughed as you sipped your warm drink, filling your body with a nice fuzzy feeling despite being on the side side of the globe, away from your world
Your baby girl and your husband on her second halloween
The early years of her life were so precious and they were flying by so fast, you wished it could slow down just a bit but alas, time didn’t wait for anyone
“Alright,” he stepped back from the camera he propped up, flashily, the cape from his costume spreading and whooshing around him, revealing a special, galaxy themed box with cut out stars and a crescent moon
“Behold!” your husband called excitedly as he raised his arms, pulling a fake bouquet of flowers from his sleeve, pretending to give it to you
Despite you being on the other side of the world
“Wow, I loveee it,” you said painfully sarcastically as you broke into a fit of laughter seeing konoha make a face at you through the screen
Oh you just knew that if you were there, he would be tackling and tickling you, teasing you, asking you if he still loved it
But anyways
He tossed the fake bouquet to the side as he pulled a magic wand
“And now for my second and final trick, I will make the cutest little bunny appear,” he smiled, clearly mouthing a few words you couldn’t make out or hear you assumed to be your daughter in the box
“Alright, 1, 2, and 3! Abracadabra!” Konoha called
And as he said, the absolute cutest bunny of your daughter slowly sprung up in a little white bunny onesie with a pink headband
“What do we say to mommy?” Konoha knelt down, lifting her out of the box and set her down before him with her arms still raised
“D/N,” he turned her a little, his hand on her belly as he pointed to his phone on the stairs. “What do you say to mommy?”
She looked at him momentarily, placing her fingers slowly to her chin, her faint freckles matching his
He mouthed something to her once again before pulling her carefully close, whispering into her ear
“Peeboo!” She called somewhat hesitantly, her chubby cheeks rosy
“No,” Konoha laughed as he sat back on his heels, “it’s peekaboo but close enough,” he snaked his arms around her and smothered kisses to her cheek, blowing raspberries and making her laugh
your cheeks were tired from all the smiling you were doing, god it just made you want to hop on the next flight home
he swept her off her feet in his arms and brought her to the stairs, sitting on them as she sat in his lap, leaning close to see you as much as possible
though she may not have fully understood what you were doing or why you weren’t here at home at the moment, she just knew that seeing you, you were still here even though you were hundreds to thousands of kilometers away
“mama, peeboo!” she called as she giggled her sweet angelic voice sounding into the tall staircase
“we worked on that all morning,” Konoha sighed as he psuhed off her headband to play with her hair
“but we’ll for sure nail it by the time you come back,” konoha smiled
Sakusa:
“Pumpum, are you ready?” Sakusa called out to his little girl as he heard the clutter of toys from her play room probably being spread all over the wooden floors
He slipped into his own shoes, tying them as he stayed knelt on the ground, a smile spreading to his face as he saw his little girl bounce towards him, skipping excitedly in her plush little pumpkin costume
“Yes!” She squealed, her raven hair that matched Sakusa’s, tied into little pigtails beside her head with a little pumpkin headband
The little headband that also matched Sakusa’s to which he used to push back his hair
“Alright, step in,” he undid the velcro straps to her light up shoes, securing them in
“Too tight?” He was able to sort of stick his finger into the side of the shoe entrance but that was fine
As soon as her shoes were on, she stomped around, playing with her shoes, using her hands to push her costume in so she could see
“Com here, pumpum,” Sakusa pat his thigh to which she hopped over and sat herself in
He pulled out the final touch, bringing out the annual custom mask and gloves he had prepared for her and himself to match the costumes since it was a tradition now for the three of you all to match
Though this year, business called and you were over seas
He secured the elastic band to the pumpkin mask on her face as well as his own
“Smile for mommy,” how own voice slightly muffled, though his practically had double the layers, as he took a mirror picture of him and his little pumpkin
Though his costume wasn’t really a costume but black pants and an ash gray turtleneck
He took the picture as well as multiple others with her orange jack-o-lantern that matched her costume, capturing aesthetically pleasing pictures of her to cherish forever
“Let’s go trick or treating.” He held her hand walking out the door, shutting the porch light off since one of you would usually be home to give out candy, mainly you since Sakusa didn’t want to interact with others
But alas, it was just the two of them this year
She bounced and ran about through the familiar neighborhood, seeing friends from her elementary school with their own parents following
The neighborhood was friendly as a gentle breeze blew through the streets every now and then, making all the various decorations of witches and spiders hanging on porches or in trees sway
“Daddy look!” he carried her as it was time to go home after almost an hour and a half of trick her treating
He followed her finger to a pile of pumpkins, all carved with funny faces on a neighbor’s lawn
“it’s us!” she giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder, her pigtail tickling his ear
But he didn���t mind as he carried the plastic container pretty full with candy
Sakusa could tell her energy was depleted as her bubbliness was no longer there as he set her down on the bench upon entering, slipping her out of her shoes and taking off her mask and gloves to be sterilized under a UV lamp
“Bath time,” he ushered her toward the bathroom, as she undressed herself while Sakusa sneaked away, hiding her jack-o-lantern of candy beneath the sink counter
And instead, replacing it with a special jack o-lantern he had always done every year so she would eat candy he was comfortable with and knew that it was clean and not handled by anyone else but him
She was his little pumpum after all and he wasn’t going to let any germs get to her
~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!
Tags (let me know if you wanna be tagged for all my haikyuu posts): @yams046 @mazey-chan @sunboikyo00 @kara-grayson04 @fortheloveofbakugo @tsumtsumsemi @1-800-wholesome@yamagucci @realityisoftendisapointing @plantisnotplant @pink-panda-pancakes @differentballooncollection @osamusamusamu@therainroguefanfiction @euphorihan@turquoiselace @macaronnv @oxmaddy @mrkoala4prsdnt @curiouslilbeast @plantisnotplant@therestless101 @abcdaichi @oyasenpai @kaaidalupita @lovinnoya @wisepandaslimeland @killuaking @bbymilkbread @tsumtsumland @suunikimchi @woah-there-cowboy-or-cowgirl @amandahh626 @nabisonyeo94 @wntrmn @dai-tsukki-desu @peteunderoos @ohyoumakemelive @aka-a-shii @shinhiromi @wompwomphq @lollypop-lam @isentsworld @blue-melody @u-wakatoshii @moondriplets @lovinnoya @yuueisteria @humanitysbiggestsimp @cjphoenix135 @inarizaki-captain @closetfurrytsukishima @chibichab @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @kuroosbixh @lavearchives @sweet-sour-devil-ish @daichis-kitty
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu dads#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu!!#konoha#konoha akinori#sakusa#sakusa kiyoomi#konoha imagines#konoha headcanons#konoha scenarios#konoha x reader#konoha akinori x reader#konoha akinori imagines#konoha akinori headcanons#konoha akinori scemarios#sakusa imagines#sakusa scenarios#sakusa x reader#sakusa headcanons#sakusa kiyoomi headcanons#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#sakusa kiyoomi imagines#sakusa kiyoomi scenarios#dokifluffs#haikyuu domestic
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🦈Kirishima HC’s🦈

Absolutely no one asked for this i just like him a lot
He’s an adult in all of these. 20s-30s at least. Some NSFW because I’m a big perv. Minors do not interact. Shoo.
- - - - -
General:
He is in the dictionary under Himbo, right next to Kronk.
Works part-time as a fitness instructor before making a name for himself as a pro hero. Most of his clients are middle-aged women, because he makes people feel safe. Before long, word gets around and he amasses this like. Loyal army of jacked housewives and older ladies who are his biggest possible fans. They mother-hen him like crazy.
Has a large and complicated extended family. Lots of cousins. You will never learn all their names, don’t even try. I have no idea if his parents have canon occupations but no matter what Horikoshi says, they actually own a mountain onsen. Kirishima went to the city by himself to go to middle/high school, his family is all off in the country somewhere and he gets homesick a lot but never admits it. He’s broke for a long time even after making it as a pro hero, because he sends most of his money back home.
He’s a dog dad. You cannot, WILL not convince me otherwise. Big dogs. Small dogs. Fancy dogs. Ugly dogs. He has a whole pack. He calls them all baby, sweetie, pupper, the worst and most embarrassing baby talk. Tells them about his day. All of his furniture is wrecked. He’s an active member in online dog groups, where he is careful to use a pseudonym and never show his face, but eventually people are going to figure out that Red Riot’s dogs look an awful lot like this one user’s....
He’s in a casual taiko group, always on the o-daiko. Loves participating in festivals and parades. He has never, ever, not once, worn a shirt while drumming. Probably has been gifted at least one antique taiko drum for his hero work, and he keeps it in his house but is too afraid to play it because it’s scary valuable “uhh it’s definitely haunted”
Regularly goes out drinking. Socially and responsibly, like clockwork, always with the same people. He’s a goddamned lightweight, and no one understands why. Will mope if he has to miss a night out at the izakaya.
So he’s clean, but sloppy. House looks like a tornado ripped through it, and nothing he owns matches. Not a single thing. I mentioned the dogs.
Will absolutely use “manly” as a replacement for “awesome,” and will constantly tell you how manly you are. Your actual gender is a non-issue. If you hang out with him for more than five minutes you’re manly as hell now.
He cries a lot? Sometimes it’s for show but he gets genuinely misty-eyed over the dumbest things. Do NOT show him pictures of puppies.
He’s good at braiding hair. His or yours. When his hair isn’t hardened, he likes doing all kinds of wacky stuff with it. He usually keeps it long enough for braids, ponies, buns, quirk-assisted faux-hawks, whatever. Mina has given him many bad ideas. He will definitely steal your hair bands and accessories, if you use them.
His fridge is just like, meat and beer. He will, if forced, consume perhaps one single vegetable. Unfortunately, his B.O. reflects this. God bless him - he showers and bathes daily, because he works out a lot and is just generally hygienic. But don’t ever touch his socks barehanded.
He wears the cheapest, most predictable cologne you can imagine, the kind that comes in an aerosol can and punches a hole in the ozone every time he sprays his pits. It smells stupidly good on him. How. so fucking manly. you kind of hate him for getting away with it.
- - - - -
And now, the 🌶 Spicy Ones 🌶
Does not date or hook up much; wants a serious relationship.
Has a tough time getting dates, weirdly. He’s still secretly insecure, but mostly he’s got rocks for brains and never knows how to flirt. He ends up friendzoning most of the people interested in him, because he is, in fact, a little too chivalrous for his own good and can never make the first move. He’s an emotional open book, but clueless romantically. I recommend being extremely straightforward. Draw him a map if you have to.
Is afraid to kiss you too deeply because of the teeth. Will take a lot of gentle encouragement to get him comfortable, but once he knows you’re safe, he’s going to be kissing you all the time. Like, too much. People are gawking, Kiri, for God’s sake.
He radiates massive doses of husband/dad energy. Will immediately marry the hell out of you. If you are capable of and willing to have his children, you are going to get extremely pregnant. Very quickly. Not necessarily a breeding kink (though why not), he just really wants to start a family with you.
He’s Big. Just huge. Tall and broad, and also... his dick is a summit and you will need to prepare for the climb. He’s had problems in the past because no, not everybody wants ALL THAT inside them. That said, if you can handle it? Woof.
Hard as a rock is No Joke with this man. Can and WILL use his quirk on his dick. If you don’t think that’s the first thing he mastered as a teenager I dont know what to tell you. Ever used a glass dildo? Well buckle up cuz it’s like if a massive glass dildo whispered sweet nothings in your ear and held you close in big strong arms and fucked you till you cried. It’s a sometimes thing. Otherwise you’d simply pass away.
He loves your brains. Your smarts and wit are a huge turn on, and he gets a boner when you use a word he doesn’t know. He also loves fucking your brains completely out, so that you cant use any words at all.
He’s a devout church-going body-worshipper. He’s so jacked that’s it’s constantly intimidating, like, how dare you stand next to this chiseled statue of a man?! but whether you love power-lifting with him or would rather die than exercise, he’s gonna treat you like the prettiest fucking piece of cake on planet earth.
Size kink ahoy; he gets his big grabby mitts on you... and you psychologically lose three feet. Doesn’t matter how tall or small or fat or thin you are, you are getting groped, squeezed, and manhandled. You didn’t even know it was possible to get thrown around like that; always onto something soft.
Not dominant. Not unless you ask very, very nicely. had a brief pushy phase at the peak of his teenage manliness obsession, unconsciously trying to be more like Bakugou, but he quickly realized controlling people wasn’t really him. It certainly isn’t very manly. Doesn’t want any toxic masculinity in his love life, even as roleplay.
That said, he can and will be a soft dom, if that’s what you want. After some practice, he’d get pretty good at it too. But his natural sexual groove is goofy, a bit awkward. Usually finds a non-sexual excuse to touch you at first; prepare to get tickled a lot. If you sit in his lap it’s all over.
If you get dominant with him, even a little, he’s gonna turn to putty in your hands. Go ahead and boss that big dumb puppy around. Nothing turns him on like seeing you get exactly what you want.
You’ll have morning wood pressed up against your ass. Every damn day. He might hump and grope you in his sleep, moaning a little. Usually it just wears off. If you wake him up to fuck, he’ll have no idea what’s going on but will be like “hell yeah i guess this is happening”
Gives oral like a starving man. Has absolutely zero reservations, because he knows his tongue and hands can’t hurt you. Will be as loud and messy as possible. If you get embarrassed or shy about it, he’s going to mumble sweet talk directly into your junk until your teeth fall out.
He’s vocal in bed. Growly. A moaning groaning disaster. He says the sweetest, gentlest things... has the cleanest dirty talk you’ve ever heard, but tenderness filtered through his bourbon-barrel chest comes out all dark and rumbly, especially when he’s close. you feel his “I love you” in your bones
He thinks making his partner cum is the manliest thing he can do. Any orgasm is good, but if you cum untouched on his dick, he’ll be riding that high for days
#kirishima headcanons#kirishima x reader#kirishima x y/n#kirishima x you#gender neutral#bnha#smut#mha#kinda#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#bnha x reader#mha x reader#fred writes#avert your eyes chilren#i dont know how to tag things#kirishima eijirou
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Love Song; Corbyn Besson
description: yeah just some good ol’ friends to lovers 😋
Your face clenched up as the nurse swabbed your nose. The urge to sneeze came over when she tugged it out, and you quickly pulled up your mask. After a round of watery eyes and the oddest facial expression, the sneeze subsided.
“Thank you,” you told her, a laugh dancing at the edge of you tone.
Her eyes crinkled, showing the smile beneath her mask. “You’re welcome. It’ll just be a minute.”
You stood from the chair, plopping down beside Zach on the couch. He was playing on his phone, but looked up when he noticed your presence.
“Hurts, doesn’t it?” He watched your hand rub at your nose over the mask.
“Uh, yeah,” you chuckled.
Zach went back to his phone and you unlocked your own, crossing a leg over the other. Soon, his name was called and he snapped off his mask. Negative.
Daniel replaced Zach in the seat beside you. You bid him hello and he said, “Hey. How are you today?”
“Was doing fine before I had to have a stick in my nose,” you giggled.
Daniel laughed as well. “Yeah, but whatever we have to do to get to celebrate.”
“New normal,” you nodded.
“Y/N!” The other nurse called out from her clipboard.
You flashed your eyebrows at Daniel and stood from the couch. Slipping your phone into your butt pocket, you walked over to the table.
“You are negative, my dear. We’re having everyone who has already been tested to stay in the kitchen.”
You took the packet of your information from the nurse, thanked them again, and joined Zach, Corbyn, and Christian in the kitchen. You slipped the pink mask in your jean jacket pocket as you took the empty bar stool next to Christian.
“Hey, guys,” you greeted.
Corbyn perked up at the sound of your voice, peaking up from his phone. He was directly across from you, leaning his chin against the ball of his palm. You glanced around at the boys, meeting his eyes over the top of his phone.
“Hey, Y/N, when did you get here?” Christian spoke, drawing your eyes away from Corbyn.
You cleared your throat and folded your hands in your lap. They were clammy now, budding heat throughout your face. His eyes.
“Like ten minutes ago. I said I was here in the group chat,” you reminded Christian.
He shrugged, “I don’t really pay attention.”
“Rip,” you laughed.
Zach and Christian went back to their conversation about the album, the only valid topic of interest for the night ahead.
You glanced back over at Corbyn, who had shifted so he could pretend like he hadn’t blushed at your presence. You sat there for a moment, contemplating saying anything at all. Ultimately you settled on tugging out your phone again.
You leaned on the counter, scrolling through people’s Instagram stories. You swiped past Why Don’t We’s shared page and fell on Corbyn’s. It was a selfie, one he took mere moments before you sat down. You flushed red, eyes gently lifting to take in how he looked right now.
His eyes.
You forced an awkward smile at the awkward eye contact, feeling...awkward.
You looked back down at your phone. It seems everyone of the boy’s friends and family members had posted about the album. Except you. You felt slightly guilty, voicing your concerns to the boys before you. Jonah and Daniel had since joined you guys in the kitchen, talking with Christian and Zach.
“No worries, Y/N. I mean, you’re here,” Jonah shrugged it off.
Zach added, “Yeah, but if you wanna post something go ahead.
“Why don’t we just take a selfie or something?” Daniel suggested, tipping his water bottle towards the phone in your hand.
“Oh, yeah. That’s good. I know it doesn’t matter, but I really want you guys to get number 1 on the charts,” you grinned sheepishly.
Jack appeared beside you, slinging on arm around your shoulder. You noticed Corbyn shift again, gulping and eyeing Jack’s arm.
“Oh, we will, Y/N, we will,” he winked at you.
You laughed loudly at his expression. “I believe in you, Jack Avery.”
He squeezed your shoulder. Everybody moved to stand around you, Corbyn ending up too far away. You tried to see where it was he was standing, just because you felt comfortable being able to see him, seeing you. But you couldn’t.
You were attempting to hold the phone out far enough to get everyone in frame, but your arm wasn’t long enough. Everybody laughed at your struggle. Jonah took the phone from you and angled it at the group. He snapped the photo and everyone dispersed.
Jonah ended up in the seat across from you, Zach next to him where he had been. Daniel, Jack, and Christian decided to start pouring drinks, since it was nearing 11 pm. Corbyn stood there for a minute, contemplating running off the edge of the world.
He settled in the seat beside you which drew your attention from your phone. You had been captioning the Instagram post, struggling to come up with something interesting.
“Hey, Corbyn,” you weakly smiled.
He smiled. “Hey.” His voice made your knees weak.
You flashed the screen at him, pushing down the red blush willing itself to paint your face. “What do you think I should caption it?”
“I don’t know,” he let out a breathy laugh, “uh, maybe a joke. Like, track 4 was written about me.”
You shared a laugh with him, happy nothing felt stuffed of weird energy for even a mere few minutes of conversation.
“That would be really funny, but probably cause some drama. How about, like, ‘dibs on Love Song?’ Because I genuinely feel like that ones gonna be so good.”
Corbyn gulped, “I wrote that one with Daniel.”
“Oh,” you breathed. “Then, I call it.”
Red cheeks all around.
You quickly posted it. Soon, the room was engulfed with music, the 3 singles the boys had released filling the air. There was a single camera on the band, standing around the kitchen island you had once been sitting at.
You stood to the side with Anna and Kay, a glass of champagne in your hand. You had since abandoned your Jean jacket, revealing the flowery, thin strapped corset that left your midrif out in the open. You felt really hot, be it because of the outfit, your sparse interactions with Corbyn, or the alcohol beginning to take hold of your bones.
See, there was something there with Corbyn, something nobody really even knew about. In fact, you didn’t even know if Corbyn himself remembered.
You had been good friends with the entire band since they moved to LA, attending concerts when you weren’t in school and hanging out constantly. Of course, as any pathetic pining story went, you’d been in love with Corbyn since you’d met him, but his heart had always belonged to Christina.
When you discovered they broke up, you felt elated for half a second. Then, he called you in tears.
“I know we’re not expectionally close, but I need somebody. The guys, they just don’t understand.l
Since that moment, you guys had been attached at the hip. Quarantine had been boring at first, terrifying, even. But, then you’d begun to spend every waking moment with Corbyn. You were the one who suggested he dye his hair black, had helped him do it. you’d gone with him when the tattoo shops opened again and helped him pick which one looked best. You’d helped them move into their new house, helped Corbyn decorate his new space. Hell, you’d even suggested a song lyric or two when laying on Corbyn’s bed, listening to him across the room on his guitar.
And then, on your birthday a few months ago, you had gotten exceptionally drunk to drown the sorrows of lusting after your best friend. When the clock struck midnight, Corbyn had already hauled down a taxi from the bar, slung your arm around his neck, cradling your waist as he tried to get you inside.
Out of nowhere, the sky began pouring buckets of rain. You fell against his chest, laughing hysterically at the ironically cliche moment. Corbyn somehow nuzzled his nose into your neck, giggling along with your drunken haze.
You pulled back gently, the closeness emitting a fierce confidence in your gut which enabled you to lean up and kiss him. He kissed you back, but when he remembered how drunk you were, he tugged away.
“I can’t do this,” he urged, but you mistook his respect for consent as rejection.
You mumbled, “But I’m in love with you.”
You didn’t remember for a few days after, what had happened that night. All you knew was you had woken up in Corbyn’s bed, his clothes on you, a headache in your head, and your dress soaking wet over the bathtub.
Then, a few days later, when you were perched on Corbyn’s bed, watching an episode of Big Mouth, he made a joke about how, “in love you are with,” him. Your eyes widened, breath hitched, and a memory pulled itself from your brain. You suddenly stood up, his arm dropping to the comforter since it had been around your shoulders.
You made some excuse about homework, though you both knew you had finished your finals the night prior. Since then, neither of you had really spoken at all.
You clenched the champagne glass between your fingers, turning them white from frustration. You felt a hand on your shoulder, turning towards Anna.
“Everything okay?” She glanced between your eyes, noticing the tears welled up there.
You sniffled and blinked the tears away. One dribbled down your cheek. You quickly wiped it away. Anna’s bottom lip jutted out in a pitiful expression and she pulled you into a hug. You wanted to collapse into her, sobbing your way through the album’s release. But, you squeezed your face shut and grabbed the composure that was running away from you.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you tugged back and set your glass on the table beside you. You quickly strode to the bathroom, shutting it behind you.
You wiped under your eyes with a wet cloth, salvaging your eye makeup. Your eyes were still red, though, red and pupils blown up in a sad countenance.
There was a knock on the door and you tensed up. Daniel’s voice came from the other side of the door, soft and sweet.
“Y/N? Can I come in?”
You already knew he had seen you crying on Anna, and probably watched you storm away as quietly as one could when they were this upset. You were taking him away from his night and that made you feel just horrible.
“Yeah,” your voice was weak.
Daniel gently opened the door. He didn’t try to hug you or tell it was going to be okay. Instead, he cradled your face in his head, pushing the hair back from your cheeks.
“I know. You don’t have to explain or try to push me away. I just know. All I can give is the fact that we wrote these songs about our lives. These songs are personal.”
You met his eyes, swimming in the undemanding answers he was laying in front of you. “What do you mean?”
He gave a warm smile, “Corbyn got really good at songwriting. Just listen.”
You hugged Daniel quickly before shutting off the light. He slung his arm around your shoulders, guiding you back to the kitchen. Everyone counted down for midnight and soon enough, the new songs were blasting through the kitchen.
You anticipated Love Song through the entirety of Be Myself, barely paying any attention to the song that you knew Daniel wrote exclusively by himself. Soon, Daniel’s voice was dancing through the speakers in an upbeat rhythm, singing the literal love song.
Right after, Corbyn’s voice came again.
“You came out of nowhere like a hurricane.”
You perked up, holding yourself together with your arms. Daniel caught your eyes and nodded firmly. Your eyes flickered across the room and met Corbyn‘s. He’d been watching you for a while, you settled. Though his band mates and friends were dancing around the kitchen, he was solemnly drinking his own champagne. His hair was damp from the bottle Jonah had cracked open at midnight.
“Pulled me in and kissed me in the rain. And I fell for you.”
Your breath caught in your throat. You found his eyes again, your face bright red. An overwhelming grin came over you. Corbyn smiled in response, a dry chuckle shaking his shoulders. He shook his head, finally relieved.
You set down your glass again, tapping Anna on the shoulder. “I’ll be back, k?”
She squeezed your shoulder again, still feeling sympathetic. You looked to Corbyn and nodded towards the back door.
You slipped outside, taking a seat on one of the pool chairs. It was dark outside, only the light from the kitchen washing through the glass sliding doors.
You heard the doors open and close again, looking up from your shoes. You stood up, breathing in deeply. Corbyn stopped in front of you, fingers squeezing each other.
You nervously smiled up at him. “So...” you ached, “so, um, I guess I really did call track 4.”
Corbyn laughed, his hands coming around to your back. He pushed you into his chest, yours going up around his neck.
“Yeah,” his face drew back, “and it was about you.”
You grinned, pursing your lips to try and push it down. But, you were tired of pushing it all down, so you let your lips widen before landing themselves on Corbyn’s.
“You could be the one, girl you’re driving me crazy.”
#corbyn besson#corbyn besson x reader#corbyn besson imagine#Corbyn besson x y/n#Corbyn Besson imagines#why don’t we fluff#why don’t we x reader#why don’t we imagine#why don’t we#why don’t we x y/n
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A Different Kind of Jam Legacy Challenge for TS3
Honestly I just wanted to make another challenge that involved colors and had a theme but then it changed into something completely different so I thought I share.
The Jam Legacy is a 9 generation legacy challenge based on fruits you can put into jams/jellies and has a specific color palette if you choose to go with it. Each generation is a quirky bunch and meant for some weird gameplay. So if you enjoy weird gameplay, nice fall colors, and maybe 9 generations of fun, this might be your jam.
For those who wish to do this in TS4, @nadzicle created an excellent conversion of this.
Tag: jam legacy or “@” me
Rules:
All requirements that are needed for the generation are in the “Ingredients” section.
Have fun and do what you want.
Gen 1: Strawberry
Everyone loves strawberries. They are sweet and popular just like you. You love getting to talk and meet new people at every chance you get and everyone loves how friendly you are. But your desire to help people has been the main driving point in your life. As you tend to others, you also tend to neglect taking care of yourself. As a workaholic, your house is a mess, your children don’t get to see you anymore, and your personal life is in shambles. Need to take some PTO if you ask me.
How to make Strawberry:
Ingredients:
Career: Doctor
LTW: Super Popular
2 Traits - Workaholic & Slob
20 Friends
Skill - Charisma
Directions:
Must have the Workaholic and Slob traits
Have 20 friends and maintain those relationships until the next generation.
Neglect your children’s skills (No teaching toddler skills, helping with homework or teaching teens to drive)
Can only clean the house once a week.
Must cancel any other interaction and no outside help
Master the Charisma skill
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Gen 2: Peach
Peaches are nice and juicy, just like your creative process. You enjoy creating as it brings joy to you and those around you. But as a child, your parents neglected you as they were focused on anything and everything but you. So you found love from others and in other places where you felt like you mattered. You deserve a treat and you also treat your children to whatever they want. They’re spoiled rotten.
How to make Peach:
Ingredients:
Career: Self Employed (Painter/Writer/Sculptor)
LTW: Illustrious Author
3 skills - Painting, Sculpting, and Writing
10 Lovers
Found Family
5,000 dollars
Children
Directions:
Master the Painting, Sculpting, and Writing skills.
Have 10 different lovers throughout your lifetime/at the same time
Go to the spa/stylist once a week because you deserve it
Have a maximum of 5,000 in household funds. Any amount over you spend on unnecessary items/furniture/activities
Have a close relationship with your children (spoil them rotten)
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Gen 3: Grape
You’ve always had a dream where you had a big beautiful ranch that would allow for you to take care of your horses in peace as you flaunt your wealth to those who envy you. But working hard for that money is just too much of a hassle unless someone has already done the work for you. If you want to maintain your dream, I guess you gotta marry big or have them die trying. In the meantime, you invest your money into the local businesses around town and have a side gig for nectar making. Then invite those haters to your ranch only for them to be reminded just how much better you are than them. Have a sip of that wine.
How to make Grape:
Ingredients:
Career: Equestrian
LTW: The Jockey
Skills: Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding
3 pieces of property
2-3 horses
A ranch
Directions:
Own a ranch/farm that’s worth more than $150,000+
Have 2-3 horses
Master the Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding skills
Host a big party at least once a week
Own 3 pieces of property in town
Win a competition on the highest level for Racing
Marry a rich sim and have them mysteriously die from unknown circumstances
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Gen 4: Plum
You’ve always believed that the universe has the answers to the questions you’ve always wondered. Like why is the sky blue? What really happened to Bella Goth? Was my parent really killed for the insurance money or the inheritance of the ranch? Sometimes these questions are left unanswered which is why you investigate the truth, supernatural or not, because it is waiting out there to be solved. Might as well document it for the views.
How to make Plum:
Ingredients:
Career: Private Investigator
LTW: Pervasive Private Eye
Skills: Logic and Social Networking
A 5 star blog
1 death
1 death flower
A death cure (ambrosia & death fish)
Directions:
Master the Logic and Social Networking skill
Have a 5 star blog
Have a death flower in your inventory so you can meet the Grim Reaper and beat death once
Have a sour relationship with your living parent and bring back your dead parent (if you can/applicable)
Be turned into a supernatural and then find the cure to be turned back (optional to be human again)
Be abducted by aliens and have an alien child.
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Gen 5: Pumpkin
There’s always been an obsession with finding ways to tinker and fix things with you. You’ve always found comfort in creating something with your bare hands and you tend to enjoy your own company and make few friends since you live far away from everyone else. It’s mostly because you need the space for your inventions and experiments with time travel. Wait what?!You also pride yourself by living off your own land and deciding not to feast on your animal companions you find in the wilderness as they are your only friends.
How to make Pumpkin
Ingredients:
Career: Inventor
LTW: Renaissance Sim
Skills: Inventing, Handiness, and Science
3 children
5 woodland creatures
Trait: Vegetarian
Directions:
Master the Inventing, Handiness, and Science skills
One of your children have to be from the time machine
No more than 3 kids in the household
House must be as far away from the town as possible
Own at least 5 small pets in your home.
Everything you cook must come from your garden, so no grocery shopping from the fridge
Must have the Vegetarian trait.
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Gen 6: Pomegranate
As a child, you’ve always wanted to see the sights and travel from your little corner of the world. But your heart has always yearned for a big family you never received for when you were younger. To have two worlds come together, you decide to do most of your traveling in spring/summer and stay at home in the fall/winter seasons. When you’re at home, you spend time with your children and cook their favorite meals all while joined by the fire. And when you’re not at home, you are traveling those big adventures you’ve always dreamed of doing and to bring home the stories and souvenirs your loved ones will enjoy. What a good life indeed.
How to make Pomegranate:
Ingredients:
Career: Stay at Home Parent
LTW: Seasoned Traveler
5 children
Skill - Cooking
Directions:
Spouse has to be from a different world than you
Have 5 children and have a great relationship with all of them
Master the Cooking skill
Celebrate each holiday at least once.
Cook everyone’s favorite meal at least once
Own a complete collection of artifacts from any destination
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Gen 7: Orange
Listening to stories growing up about meeting new people and exploring new worlds has put the call of adventure into your heart. But with the limited time in this world and so many resources on your hands, you’re kinda indecisive about what to do. So basically you just do about everything on an impulsive whim. Joined a band, check. Streak in public, check. Fought a shark, check. Got eaten by a cowplant and lived, check. Turn everybody into a zombie, thought about it. Go to the future and create a dystopian future, oh there’s an idea. Yeah you’re not settling for a while. Not until you find your greatest adventure.
How to make Orange:
Ingredients:
LTW: Jack of all Trades
1 best friend
10 skills
10 jobs
3 moves
1 great adventure
Directions:
Know 10 skills but never master any of them
Spend your life finding the greatest adventure that no one else in your family has done before.
Greatest adventure is defined by you and what you believe is an adventure.
Marry your best friend as an adult
Move 3 times in your lifetime
Have at least 10 jobs under your belt (but you don’t have to reach the highest level in any of them)
Do the most dangerous inappropriate stuff at least 3 times a week.
Streaking/Skinny dipping/making out with a married person/fighting a child/etc
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Gen 8: Kumquat
You can’t stand the status quo of things and you definitely can’t stand the injustice that society normalizes. So something has to change, rather through art or always fighting the system, you believe in changing the world. One step at a time.
How to make Kumquat
Ingredients:
LTW: Street Credible
Rebel Status
2 local protests
1 skill - Street art
3 enemies
1 change to the world
Directions:
Pull pranks as a teenager on all your neighbors
Get kicked out of college
Reach level 10 of the Rebel status
Protest at least 2 times a week
Master the Street art skill
Have 3 enemies
Can not have a typical career/9-5 job
Contribute to the future - create a utopia/dystopia for the future, become a politician as an adult or become a teacher to teach the youth. Up to you.
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Gen 9. Blackberry
Growing up, you’ve learned how to always fight for the things you love. Through the strums of your guitar, you’ve created a melody that others can get behind when they are sad, angry, or happy. It’s the battle cry of your performance and the applause of the crowds that keep you going. It’s just that sometimes you wish you had someone to keep you going when things get rough as well. At least you have your bandmates, right?
How to make Blackberry
Ingredients:
LTW: One Sim Band
Career: Band member/Singer
4 Skills: Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass
2 failed relationships
1 comeback tour
1 true love/soulmate
Directions:
Master the Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass Skills
Create/Join a Band
Have 2 failed relationships before finding the one
True Love Checklist - Attractive, Compatible Sign, 2 similar traits, and the Virtuoso trait
Become a 5 star celebrity
Quit the band to have a solo career as a Singer
Reunite as elders for your comeback tour
Thank you for trying this challenge. Feedback is always welcomed.
Edit: 10/22/21
#this took me about a month and a half#i was too stubborn to abandon it for something of a simple theme#but i just didnt want to do the nsb and decided to make something different#so enjoy my challenge if it works for you#sims#ts3#the sims 3#sims 3#ts3 challenge#ts3 legacy challenge#jam legacy challenge#this is why ive been mia lately and also cause im tired from work#might play this later
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The different aspects of Miyako’s personality and character arc
Miyako is a character where there’s just a lot going on with her in general, and asking different people to summarize Miyako in one phrase could feasibly get you some very different answers -- “the computer nerd girl”, or “the one who keeps talking about boys”, or “the one who panics all of the time”, or whatnot. Given that there’s so much to unpack at once even from her base profile, ironing out the full extent of her character arc can get a bit tricky, and there’s a lot going on with it. So, given that: Who is Miyako, anyway?
Miyako’s background and personality
Miyako is a character that I think is best understood by understanding what kind of person she is, and the personality and mentality she goes into the story of 02 with.
An interesting background story behind Miyako’s creation is that she’s based off a real person -- more accurately, a certain assistant producer on the series (whose identity has remained undisclosed, presumably for privacy reasons) was used as a reference for her behavior and actions. Although Adventure and 02 have a philosophy of portraying realistic human behavior in general, this level of specificity is a unique designation to have, and series director Kakudou Hiroyuki has referred to this a few times over the years -- it seems she’s the only of the Tokyo Chosen Children to have such a concrete single-person reference, and it’s also the reason her blood type of AB and star sign Gemini were given in 02 episode 25 (the other kids don’t have mentioned birthdays or blood types to prevent personality restrictions via horoscoping, but a real person having Miyako’s personality, star sign, and blood type wouldn’t make that as much of an issue). Even Volcano Ota himself confirmed Miyako’s resemblance to her upon hearing it after the fact! Indeed, a lot of 02 fans (especially adults) have admitted that Miyako’s probably one of the most relatable people in the cast, namely because her gushing about things she likes and panicking at things that overwhelm her is...well, a bit too uncomfortably on-point at times.
(And especially since so much about Miyako’s character has to do with how happy she makes everyone around her, it’s not too hard to imagine that the staff was so fond of her real-life inspiration that they wanted to pay tribute to her in such a way...)
Still, Miyako is a fictional character, one with her own backstory and interactions in 02′s story, and said backstory is such: she comes from a family that runs a convenience store in Odaiba, and is the youngest of a family of four siblings. Running a convenience store on a small island means that Miyako has probably seen a lot of the island’s residents, and her family also has various levels of connections to the other kids’ families (her older sisters Momoe and Chizuru are friends of Daisuke’s sister Jun, and Chizuru is Yamato’s classmate). Moreover, she’s befriended her nine-year-old neighbor (one who otherwise has trouble socializing with his peers) to the point of regularly going over to do computer repairs for his family. She’s also worked in the computer club under Koushirou, and even before the series has started, she looks up to him and adores him in a way not entirely unlike how Daisuke looks up to Taichi -- and although it’s unclear whether or not she started after the beginning of 02, 02 episode 29 reveals that she helps Yamato with his band.
The pattern here is that Miyako is extremely sociable, and one who actively pokes her nose into nearly everything so she can help out. This makes her a very different sort of Mom Friend from Sora -- both of them are Crest of Love holders for good reason, but in Sora’s case, she was compulsively going out of her way to help other people to the point of exhaustion, and her character arc was about trying to find a way to detach herself from obligations and do something for herself. Miyako is the complete opposite -- she’s the kind of extrovert who actively enjoys poking her head into other people’s business, picking up a bunch of peripheral hobbies so she can do something useful for everyone and go I’M HELPING!! If you actually look closely at those hobbies of “computer programming and hacking”, “hardware tinkering”, and “sound engineering”, other than vaguely being related to computers, they are completely different skillsets, and every single one of them is one Miyako’s depicted employing in order to help someone else out. (Koushirou is never really depicted as having super amazingly high technical skill and most of his unique talent comes from being a thorough analyst, but in contrast, while Miyako is established as being good at even hacking in Diablomon Strikes Back, she doesn’t really seem to have a huge propensity for deep analytical thought.) It’s hard to tell if she has any personal preference for any of them as much as she basically turned herself into a jack-of-all-trades so she could do whatever job was necessary for someone else.
If we’re to believe the official 02 site, Miyako’s been a bit pampered by her family -- as the youngest of four siblings, she’s the “baby of the family”, who hasn’t had to live with a ton of responsibility for others. This means that, much like Mimi, she seems to have been raised surrounded by a ton of affection, which is why she herself is such an openly affectionate person who’s open-minded towards trying all sorts of things, and why she’s used to wanting to help others by actively throwing herself into situations -- but it also means that, being the youngest of a family who is now in the situation of being the oldest in a new group, she ends up in Jou’s situation of suddenly being faced with the pressure of the concept of proper responsibility for others.
As far as Miyako’s general personality goes, she is constantly overflowing with affection and cheer and a desire to dote on everyone -- but the flip side is that she’s also aggressive. She has zero sense of restraint. (If you ever get around to listening to the Japanese version of 02, Natsuki Rio’s performance is energetic and over-the-top in almost every way imaginable to the point that you get the impression of Miyako as someone who doesn’t easily run out of batteries -- at least, until things start getting really serious.) When she loves something, she’ll gush about it as if there were hearts floating around her (and, depending on the level of closeness, even jump in and physically hug them), and she has no qualms against physically manhandling if she feels she needs to, and if she dislikes something, she will make it very clear (including yelling very loudly about it). You could argue that she’s actually closer to the archetype of the brash shounen protagonist than Daisuke himself is!
In fact, Miyako and Daisuke have very similar temperaments -- pure-hearted, but also rough around the edges -- but can be distinguished by the fact that while Daisuke is actually deferential and somewhat lacking in assertion, Miyako is actually aggressive, and while Daisuke’s “honesty about his feelings” is mainly because he’s too simple-minded to be any good at hiding anything, Miyako’s honesty is because she has no brain-to-mouth filter, and everything she’s thinking comes out of her mouth before she can control it -- in other words, Miyako has a huge case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. She doesn’t want to be insensitive, but it keeps coming out of her mouth before she can control it -- and even worse, her emotions are prone to taking control of her, and she is very prone to getting overwhelmed and collapsing into a massive panic.
If you think about the two archetypes of “girl who takes care of everyone” and “aggressive action girl”, Miyako has a tendency towards both at once, and moreover there’s an extra nail in it -- most “action girls” in the latter category would be portrayed as badass, put-together characters with a cool personality, but Miyako is a mess. She’s prone to panicking, all over the place, and her tendency to get in-your-face is not exactly in the most dignified manner. And as a result, a huge part of her character arc (as we will be going more into detail about below) is that she’s aware of this and doesn’t like this about herself -- because she doesn’t want to be insensitive or rude, and in fact she wants to be someone who can better help and take care of others, but, in her mind, her own personality keeps getting in the way.
Miyako in 02
After fully becoming a Chosen Child in 02 episode 2, it only takes one more episode for Miyako to bring food for everyone, as if to say “Right! I’m going to be working with everyone now! All of you are now my new best friends!” (”Bringing food for people” is one of Miyako’s many ways of showing love, given that she returns from Kyoto in 02 episode 34 and immediately hands off souvenir yatsuhashi to Koushirou.) And with that, Miyako settles into the archetype of the group’s “mood maker” -- someone whose role is to keep everyone in emotionally high spirits by influencing everyone with cheer and energy. 02 episode 5 features the debut of her famous “Digital Gate, open! Chosen Children, let’s roll!” catchphrase -- this and her other famous “Bingo!” catchphrase establish her as the only of the Tokyo Chosen Children to have a catchphrase (at least, in the Japanese version). Because catchphrases are fun.
As much as everyone (especially Daisuke) is a bit blindsided by her behavior at first, they eventually come to embrace the positive effect she has on all of them -- Daisuke very genuinely asks her for “the usual cheer” in 02 episode 10, and, all the way in 02 episode 22, this is such an agreed-on and established role that they’ll still wait on her to do the honors even when they’re in a hurry. So in other words, it didn’t take long for Miyako to go out of her way to shower everyone with cheer, and it didn’t take long for everyone to answer to that cheer and appreciate her for it.
The flip side of this, however, is that Miyako doesn’t start off being very emotionally equipped to handle this -- right off the bat in 02 episode 2, she says that she’s not inclined for fighting, and in 02 episode 4, she refers to it as being “like an adventure game”. That is to say, she’s not at the point where she’s able to handle the full gravity of what she’s just involved herself with (Daisuke reminds her that she’d panicked earlier, but she just blows it off). She’s handling it so cheerfully now because the series is still in its early stages, when she can enter and exit the Digital World at will, and she’s capable of treating it like this.
So when the stakes do get higher, she’s the first one to take the stress hard. As mentioned before, she’s the youngest in her family, now recast as the oldest in this group -- but unlike Jou, who consciously knew this fact and took stress onto himself because of the responsibility this entailed, Miyako seems to repeatedly forget that she’s the oldest in this group, and the events of 02 episodes 9-10 (when Agumon is kidnapped) cause her to break down from stress and have to take a time-out. (Which everyone allows her to do, because this is not a series where people are pressured to fight if they’re not emotionally ready for it.) Miyako comes to terms with the fact that the stakes are going to keep escalating, and she can’t just gloss over everything with cheer -- and she does manage to pull herself enough to bring Yamato into the fray at the end of the episode, but this continues to be a recurring theme for the rest of her character arc.
While we’re discussing these early parts of the series, one thing I want to briefly address is the part where Miyako infamously calls a lot of people hot. (Although, not as many as the fanbase would love to make you think; it’s only four people in total.) This tends to get her pinned as some kind of flirt whose head is only filled with being hot for people, but while she’s certainly a bit on the shallow end at this point of the series -- dealing with that being what this character arc is about, after all -- this trait of hers tends to get exaggerated by a lot of people in the audience as if she’s completely lacking in common sense. Miyako’s ridiculous (and we love her for it), but she does have some degree of grip on herself! Context is important here -- she might show a crush on someone, but at no point in the series itself does Miyako show any indication of seriously thinking of full-on dating.
For Miyako, who’s accustomed to just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, commenting on someone being hot is like commenting on the weather -- she means it as a compliment, but there’s no evidence she thinks she has a chance with any of them, let alone wanting to try dating. This is especially when you take into account her self-esteem issues that we learn about later in the series, and also...well, the fact she’s only twelve. (Remember: even Daisuke’s thing for Hikari comes out as a lot of unfocused affection, and it’s unlikely he’s seriously considered the concept of following that up with a serious relationship -- any serious prospects of romance or dating are not going to be on the table for these kids for a while.) Miyako has also been accused by some of being abysmally shallow for still complimenting Ken’s looks in 02 episode 9 (after it’s already apparent he’s the Kaiser), but although she certainly is a bit shallow at this point of the series, she’s not that lacking in common sense; Iori got in on it too in this scene, and both of them were doing it to tease Daisuke more than they seriously wanted to compliment the Kaiser all that much. So in essence, it’s just “Miyako has eyes” -- she still completely agrees he’s their enemy and she’s not going to judge him any better for his looks, but she also doesn’t see this as a reason to lie about the fact she thinks he’s visually good-looking, especially if it’s to tease Daisuke about it.
In any case, 02 episode 14 digs a lot more into Miyako’s stance on herself regarding others -- in 02 episode 6, Miyako met Mimi for the first time, and latched onto her for their similar dispositions and her looking up to Mimi for being beautiful, amazing, and cool (and she should, because she’s right). 02 episode 14 adds another layer to this, however, when Miyako spends the duration negatively comparing herself to Mimi. At first it starts off as simply just shallow jealousy for Michael giving Mimi more attention, but as the situation with Digitamamon escalates, Miyako spends a prolonged period of time trying to figure out Mimi’s behavior of pure-heartedly choosing to trust Digitamamon despite everything, against Miyako’s insistence that Digitamamon’s behavior proves that he was untrustworthy the whole time.
Mimi and Miyako’s stances are both on extremes here -- Mimi’s pacifistic tendencies are causing her to let her get beaten up by Digitamamon despite the fact that “appealing to people’s hearts” has never really been demonstrated as a good way to get Evil Rings off (to be fair, this is probably the first time they’ve made an attempt at this with a Digimon that can still talk coherently with it on), but Miyako’s acting as if this retroactively proves him to be untrustworthy even though she knows that the Evil Rings are tantamount to brainwashing. Nevertheless, Miyako acknowledges that her own stance was borne out of her being shallow and judgmental, especially since the discussion between Mimi and Digitamamon brings out a question about the meaning of the “true self”.
Miyako, at this point, is confronting everything that’s bad about herself -- that she’s shallow and not as much of a “good person” as Mimi is. But the Crest of Purity -- once meaning “lack of malice” back when it applied to Mimi in Adventure -- now has a secondary meaning of “not lying to oneself” (the dub translation of “Sincerity” is not actually that off in this sense), and it also means that Miyako is not going to get anywhere pretending or forcing herself to be someone she’s not. The secondary Digimental arc has a recurring theme of understanding that there are still things you need to learn and improve on in order to do better, and this is Miyako’s version of it -- she will have to acknowledge all of the bad parts of herself before she can get anywhere and become a kind person like Mimi is -- and, indeed, becoming less shallow and judgmental and not jumping to conclusions, and learning to reach out to more substantial cores of the problem, ends up becoming a major part of her character arc in the latter half of the series.
This episode also implies one more thing, even if she doesn’t realize it yet at this moment: the path to her becoming a less shallow and more considerate person is not going to involve trying to force herself to be like Mimi, but rather in a way that’s closer to her “true self”.
Miyako’s first major turning point is in 02 episode 18, an episode that’s said to have such a profound impact on her that even Natsuki Rio testified to having to alter her Miyako performance thereafter.
Back in 02 episode 10, Miyako first started to realize that this whole experience of fighting as a Chosen Child was a lot more stressful than it seemed at first, and reacted badly to it. Here, the ante gets upped even more -- the kids decide to make use of their summer break and organize a Digital World stakeout, and, eventually, Hikari accidentally becomes indirectly responsible for tipping Miyako over the deep end by making an implication that they need more “determination” to the point of refusing to leave until they’ve beaten the Kaiser. (Remember that Hikari can be terrifyingly assertive as long as it’s not something to do with herself.) For Miyako, who’s never had the same experience of being in the Digital World for a prolonged period of time the same way the Adventure group has, this is terrifying, and she tries to “get herself together” over the night -- only to completely overshoot it and go into the complete other extreme. As much as this ends up being one of Miyako’s peak hilarity moments, it’s most certainly representative of her being under a huge amount of pressure and stress, and it’s effectively her “peak worst” moment -- which results in Hawkmon ending up having to cover for her, and getting injured in the process, and Miyako immediately realizing how badly she’d messed up.
Miyako is thus forced to face a major consequence of her behavior: if she doesn’t manage to figure out a way to get herself under control, other people will be hurt, and as someone who wants to do her best for other people, that’s one of the worst possible outcomes for her.
In addition, it’s also important to point out Hikari’s role in this. The Jogress arcs have yet to set in, but the series still gives you a little preview of what’s to come eventually, such as the insight we get about Daisuke and Ken’s initial attitudes towards each other in 02 episode 8, and Iori later personally witnessing (and being very disturbed by) Takeru losing his composure in 02 episode 19. In this case, we see a bit of what Miyako and Hikari’s opposing personalities can offer for each other (especially since the later 02 episode 31 more heavily involves Miyako returning the favor in the other direction) -- Hikari correctly identifies exactly what it was that set Miyako off, takes responsibility for it, and even decides to make sure Miyako and Hawkmon get proper alone time so that they can figure things out. In general, everyone in the 02 team is understanding of Miyako’s antics and doesn’t hold any of it against her because she’s doing her best, but right now, Hikari may be the only person in this group who can actually proactively do something about it, because Daisuke’s not assertive enough to step in, Takeru has a tendency to dodge things whenever they get awkward, and Iori’s holding himself back too much for the sake of manners (especially in the presence of Miyako, who’s the oldest one in this group). But while Hikari does have an emotional repression problem, she’s perfectly capable of holding herself together and putting her foot down when it comes to other people, and because of this, she’s the one who’s able to understand what exactly is going on with Miyako, and how to adjust the situation around her to make things easier for her.
Miyako and Hawkmon have a proper heart-to-heart, and we see more of Miyako’s self-hating tendencies going on here -- she refers exactly to her problems with impulse control, and even labels herself a “bad partner” as a result. But Hawkmon reassures her that she’s fine the way she is, and it ties into how a larger theme of her character arc will involve her learning to find better ways to channel the qualities she already has, rather than trying to force herself to be someone she’s not.
Once the Kaiser is defeated, the second half of the series is where we start to see Miyako’s growth start to really kick in. In 02 episode 24, there’s a short blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene where Miyako suddenly takes Daisuke and puts him in charge of taking care of the Punimon. Why is this important? Because two episodes prior, Daisuke had been running around in circles like an idiot due to having been third wheeled by Takeru and Hikari, and the moment Daisuke started exhibiting similar signs this time, Miyako personally stepped in and gave him a job to do -- and her actions of keeping an eye on them and her conversation with Takeru and Hikari indicate that she did it exactly because she figured that he would like it. Or, in other words, Miyako correctly identified Daisuke’s need for validation and purpose, and became the first person to proactively do something to address it -- Hikari and Takeru had generally been dodging it awkwardly for the duration of the series, which had only really been making it worse, and, in the absence of another crisis to take care of or someone like Ken to fill the void in Daisuke’s life, Miyako was able to properly figure out exactly what he needed at the moment as a stopgap, and thus is starting to settle into her proper role of understanding what others need in terms of emotional support and actively working to address it.
Since the second half of 02 is dedicated to Ken slowly establishing his place in the group, 02 episode 25 is dedicated to Miyako tussling with her conflicted feelings on the situation -- she’s just as open-minded and pure-hearted as Daisuke is, but the one thing that’s bothering her is that she’s a little more doubtful than he is in regards to whether Ken’s heart is really in the right place with all of this. She says, outright, that she believes he’s learned his lesson -- in a way far more firm than Takeru, Hikari, and Iori are about it -- but that one thing about him having potentially killed Thunderballmon in cold blood doesn’t fit the optimistic image she’d like to have of him.
Daisuke is more practical-minded than she is and is more willing to accept that there might have been a good reason -- especially since he himself starts to consider in this very episode that killing an enemy may be necessary if it’s the only way to prevent more victims -- but Miyako is more emotionally oriented and just can’t accept the idea of doing this at all. Both the internal debate over accepting Ken and the internal debate over having to potentially do a kill tear her apart over the course of this episode, and Miyako finds herself constantly waffling back and forth between the two positions. It’s not just her expressing minor doubt; she actually agonizes over this for the duration of the night and the next day, to the point she even considers asking him about it (and eventually can’t bring herself to).
It’s also made a prominent point that Miyako’s prior attraction to Ken in 02 episode 8 was not the reason she wanted to be optimistic about him -- remember, back in 02 episode 14, she completely admitted that she judges people by appearances, but at this point she’s well past that! Miyako takes this entire issue of whether Ken should be considered a friend very seriously, and that’s why it torments her so much over the course of the episode.
Eventually, all is resolved (at least, for the time being) when it turns out that Ken has been dealing with non-sentient Dark Tower Digimon, and Miyako takes this as sufficient evidence that Ken has changed -- the morality debate about killing comes back in full force in 02 episode 43, and Ken himself ends up just as shaken about it, so the important part is that she understands that he’s trustworthy and wants to put faith in him. Attention is also given to Miyako deciding she’ll now call him by given name (”Ken-kun”) from now on -- even Daisuke himself won’t start calling him “Ken” regularly until 02 episode 39, but Miyako starts slowly inserting given-name basis for Ken into her vocabulary from this point on until she finally commits to it fully in 02 episode 30. This is a proactive and conscious act on Miyako’s part that she actively wants to get to know him better and consider him a close friend, and it’s because of this that she ends up one of the only people who never gets habituated into surname basis with him by the time everyone’s come to properly befriend him.
So, at this point: Within only one episode (and, in-universe, one day), Daisuke and Miyako landed on the same page with their ideological stance towards Ken. They’re both open-minded and forward-thinking, and have an interest in becoming his friend (the next person to show active and open goodwill towards him, Hikari, won’t do so for another 9 episodes). However, despite their surface temperaments being somewhat similar, they have some differences in their priorities and way of approaching things, and it means that each of them ends up reaching out to Ken in ways that the other isn’t as good at. Daisuke, being the very practical and simple-minded sort who doesn’t overthink things or get caught in arbitrary philosophy, is the one who most proactively reaches out to Ken and most famously connects with him the most due to Ken very badly needing guidance in how to move on forward and stop getting fixated on his past. Miyako, on the other hand, being very much the type to consciously think about things (to the point of sometimes thinking about too many things at once) and focus on “how do I most show my support for someone right now?”, puts her priorities on checking on Ken’s current emotional state and actively attempting to glean his feelings and position. 02 being a series about relationships and what people can provide for each other, this ends up reflecting on their roles in the group as a whole -- Daisuke becomes the person who can pull everyone forward in determining the best thing to do, whereas Miyako fills in the parts his rough-around-the-edges demeanor doesn’t quite cover in terms of supporting everyone emotionally and keeping them together.
And thus, Miyako resolves to “wait” until the day Ken will join them -- that is to say, she takes the stance that Ken deserves proper space and to come on his own terms. It’s an interesting inversion of the usual roles you’d expect from Daisuke and Miyako at this point -- and, again, since 02 is about relationships, “each character’s approach towards the new kid and how it impacts them” reflects a lot about their own characters. For Daisuke and Miyako, who were open-minded towards Ken early in the game, you can already see the impact on them -- the necessity of reaching out to Ken causes the normally deferential Daisuke to become more proactive and put his foot down, whereas the normally uncontrollably in-your-face Miyako comes to understand when something needs to be handled delicately and starts getting a better grasp on the concept of restraint.
Which means that Miyako’s actions regarding Ken in the following episodes are significantly more passive than Daisuke’s are, but it’s clear that she’s still supportive. Moreover, it’s also important to establish that she and Daisuke aren’t fighting about this or anything -- Miyako does want Ken to come around eventually, so she doesn’t stop the more proactive Daisuke from reaching out to Ken in an important way, but she instead exerts her position in ways such as joining in with the others reminding him that Ken might have gotten a bit emotionally overwhelmed by the Jogress (and thus that it’s understandable that he might need some time to parse this before pushing the issue further). The way Miyako words this statement so casually can easily be a distraction from the fact that she is completely correct -- as we see later, Ken did emotionally freak out the moment the incident was resolved and had to go home to think about this. Scatterbrained as Miyako may seem, as the series proceeds, it turns out that she has a natural propensity for empathy that means she’s capable of making perfectly correct readings of the situation, even without her thinking that hard about it.
Not that she’s correct all of the time, though. 02 episode 30 has her attempt to get Ken and Iori to hopefully be a little less tense around each other end in complete disaster (although to be fair to her, it’s not like she and Daisuke were particularly forceful about it, it’s just that their plan was so poorly set up that it was too easy to read the motive behind, and it’s ultimately thrown off because -- as Daisuke correctly points out -- the two are being really childish about it.) But in response, Miyako takes direct action and responsibility to fix the situation when Ken continues to refuse to help despite how badly the situation is escalating, and when she finally reaches him, she gets frustrated at the fact he’s being so stubborn, smacks him, and personally drags him back over. Miyako cared a lot about this, she had wanted Ken and Iori to get along for no reason of personal benefit to herself but more because she cared that much about the group’s dynamic and friendship, and she’d held herself back so much because she was worried about him, but here he’s taking all of that and still giving them all the cold shoulder when everyone is in grave danger, and all of that frustration causes her to break down at once.
And note Ken’s reaction -- he’d been holding off on the grounds that he was being a burden on everyone’s friendship, but he sees Miyako distraught and upset and calling him an idiot (i.e. his whole pretense of not hurting others has clearly not worked here), and his “idiot...?” comes out flustered and off-guard, and he shows no resentment towards her thereafter and comes quietly with no protest, even holding a hand to the place she’d smacked him as if mulling in agreement that he deserved that. So, again: Even when Miyako is coming to all of these conclusions in a haphazard manner, it doesn’t change the fact that her readings of these situations are often completely correct.
02 episode 31 is another landmark episode in which we get a lot of insight into Miyako’s current feelings regarding herself in comparison to others, and what she’s trying to achieve at this point in the series. Daisuke makes an offhand remark at the beginning of the episode about Hikari being more “kind” than Miyako (”kind” having a double meaning of “gentle” in Japanese, so Daisuke’s mainly referring to Miyako being such a rough and belligerent person). The way Miyako takes this statement indicates that Daisuke had accidentally just hit a very deep-seated complex within her -- Miyako had never liked the fact she was aggressive and belligerent and in-your-face (remember, back in 02 episode 14, she was constantly negatively comparing herself to Mimi for not being as good of a person as her, and now this has extended to Hikari, who “keeps so much inside”.). As the crisis in the episode escalates, Miyako continues to fall victim to her foot-in-mouth syndrome, saying things and instantly regretting it, because she sees herself as making the situation worse -- and especially when it comes to a situation also involving Ken, whom she’s actively trying to reach out to right now. Her frustration at the fact she can’t see what Ken and Hikari see is because, unable to understand what they’re talking about or what their feelings are, she’s basically a sitting duck who can’t do anything while things are getting worse for them.
Which ultimately results in Miyako completely losing her marbles and Hikari having to smack her out of it -- again, recall that in 02 episode 18, it was shown that Hikari is one of the few people who has enough assertiveness to be able to rein in Miyako’s behavior, and even outright admits that Miyako is a bit of a handful. Miyako, as it seems, had been carrying a complex that Hikari had been thinking of her badly for all of this -- but Hikari then proceeds to reveal the flip side of all of this: she’s also conversely jealous of Miyako for being able to express herself so clearly and easily, because she herself is the type who compulsively represses her own feelings about herself, which is why nobody had been able to properly reach out to her for the duration of Adventure and 02.
For someone who had spent so much time considering herself a “bad person” and a “worse person” in comparison to people like Mimi and Hikari, that someone considers her qualities outright enviable is a huge deal -- it’s not that Miyako’s an objectively worse person than all of the other people who aren’t as rough or in-your-face, but rather, that those qualities can bring out positive things in their own way. And, immediately after that, we see one of those things -- she makes Hikari laugh, thanks to her antics. Of course, it involves Miyako being a bit all over the place and making a lot of mistakes, but even she admits “I guess it is funny.”
And there’s another thing to this, too: Miyako continues to end up with foot-in-mouth as she casually refers to things like the Evil Ring and Ken being the Kaiser with zero fanfare, before realizing seconds after that she probably shouldn’t be doing that in front of him, but, once again, even without her realizing, her evaluation is not incorrect -- although the fact he’s extremely out of it doesn’t make that clear quite yet in this episode, Ken is not the kind of person who’s touchy about acknowledging that he was the Kaiser, and, by his own statement in 02 episode 23, his stance is that he wants to “accept everything about it”, take responsibility, and move on. So here we are with Miyako, who just casually tossed that statement out like it was no big deal, has accepted his past with no lingering grudge against him, and even made a casual evaluation about him presumably having the same resilience he had as the Kaiser, which, again, is completely accurate. All of this is exactly the kind of attitude that Ken needs to be surrounded by right now, and Miyako had just touched on this without even thinking that hard about it, and also is still making it clear she doesn’t want him to feel bad about it...
And so, the episode’s climax has Miyako finally attaining the solution to the question of reaching out to Hikari, the one that nobody had been able to successfully accomplish throughout Hikari’s childhood of never expressing herself properly and the majority of Adventure and 02: to get Hikari to stop being so passive and accepting her inevitable fate because she doesn’t want to burden others, someone as aggressive as her will need to reach her and yank her out, and hit all of the exact points about understanding that someone will be there for her and that she should not accept this defeatist mentality. Hikari is unusually, unhealthily passive, and Miyako, being outwardly aggressive and someone who never hesitates to be blunt about things, is the best person to yank her out of this; it was never a sign of her being a “bad person”, just something she needed to channel in the right direction.
At the end of the episode, we’re also reminded once again that this is a series about relationships, so this kind of growth is important to everyone’s relationships with others as well -- thanks to Miyako’s efforts, Hikari is finally able to speak honestly with Takeru in contrast to her way of leaving off in silence with him at the end of 02 episode 13, and Miyako herself is happy that she’s finally gotten to have a better understanding of both Hikari, whom she herself had been unsure about the position of earlier, and Ken, whom she’d been worried she hadn’t been reaching out to in the right way.
While Ken was out of it during said episode and unable to coherently respond, we do get confirmation that he himself has hopped on the train of respecting Miyako’s intent well enough that he doesn’t hold anything over her -- during 02 episode 33, a mere three episodes after she’d personally slapped him in the face and two episodes after he’d practically seen her at her emotional worst, he still takes it upon himself to personally deliver Poromon to Kyoto and trust her to handle the rest. This isn’t that particularly interesting by itself, but moreso in terms of the context this is in -- this is a point where Ken’s still at awkward arm’s length with a lot of the team (including even Daisuke, in some ways), and he’s seen Miyako do all of the above messy things only not too long ago, but he still is comfortable enough around her and trusting enough in her abilities that he’s okay with casually approaching her and saying “you got this.” So it’s working, all things considered!
We also learn that Miyako had trusted Koushirou with Poromon during her trip to Kyoto, which says a lot about the fact she trusts her senior that much -- and, on a meta level, seems there specifically to facilitate the existence of the above scene (it would have been very easy to save time by just having Poromon accompany Miyako from the get-go and ending Ken’s involvement in the episode at his conversation with Koushirou...).
The following episodes also meanwhile establish that Miyako’s relationship with Hikari has been improving a lot -- with Miyako now actually understanding what Hikari needs, she’s much more proactive in reaching out to Hikari, and it’s even said directly by Iori in 02 episode 36 that their relationship seems to have gotten much better now. And, once again, Miyako’s antics are depicted as making people laugh -- note her and Hawkmon’s over-the-top advertisement performance doing so for everyone in the vicinity.
Which is also reinforced, again, in 02 episode 38, when this even spreads to Ken himself, in a moment that’s said to be particularly unusual and portrayed as one of the first times Ken has been able to be truly carefree in a long time. Again, the point here is: Miyako’s “all-over-the-place” nature brings joy to other people, and that “she makes people laugh” is continually reinforced as a symbol of this over the course of the second half of the series.
Beyond that, the visit to Ken’s house kicks off with Miyako noticing the picture of Osamu and asking about it, to the point she’s shown leaning over and staring at it for quite a while -- Koushirou had allegedly informed her about it earlier, and a whole point is made that she’s the one very prominently wanting to understand more about Ken and his background.
Also, Miyako reminds us all that she still does think Ken is attractive, but it’s a huge contrast to her behavior from back in 02 episode 8, when she knew nothing about him except that he was some celebrity genius boy -- she got completely worked up about it, moped about it for a whole day, and even dragged the fixation into the next day when she started aggressively confronting Daisuke about it, but we’re here 30 episodes later with Miyako actually considering him an important friend that she respects the feelings of, and she simply casually tosses out the statement of him being cute in her usual “like it’s commenting on the weather” manner, with no extra weirdness about it.
We close up some of the threads of Miyako's character arcs when Miyako herself is forced to confront the possibility of fighting an enemy to the kill in 02 episode 44, and Silphymon is eventually forced to kill LadyDevimon to save Miyako's life. Miyako’s emotional reaction is given the most attention here, since she herself had fixated so much on the horror of potentially killing Golemon back in 02 episode 25 -- in fact, everything Miyako does in this episode is about her emotional empathy and empathy for others, in that she rails on LadyDevimon for being a “coward” who hurts other people. Eventually, it’s once again the assertive Hikari who’s able to get her back on her feet by putting it in a way she can understand -- they were not doing it out of a callous and cruel intent to kill, but to save the exact victims that Miyako herself wanted to prevent.
And, even to the very end of the series, Miyako continues to channel her proactivity into emotional awareness first and foremost -- 02 episode 46 has her take the lead in the Dark Seed roundtable, and it’s implied that she’s doing this mainly because she knows this is a very personal issue for Ken to have to witness. In contrast to the way she frantically started spitting out potentially insensitive things in front of Ken in 02 episode 31, here, she outright says that she doesn’t want to make him feel bad about this (and, fortunately, he understands perfectly well that she’s trying). Even all the way to the very end in 02 episode 50, she’s the one who first brings up the question of the issue, because of how emotionally invested she got into this and her high level of awareness as to how deeply this impacted Ken.
In 02 episode 49, BelialVamdemon presents everyone in the team with a potential deep-seated desire that none of them want to admit, and in the case of Miyako’s, it ends up being a rather tame thing in comparison to Iori and Takeru’s more severe family issues, Hikari’s desire for WORLD PEACE!!, and Ken’s complicated feelings about punishment and forgiveness. In Miyako’s dream world, she’s just eating cake, and it says a lot about the fact that were it not for the fact that she overthinks things and often gets easily stressed, she’s fundamentally fairly free of deep-seated issues in a way not entirely dissimilar to Daisuke’s simple and pure-hearted way of life.
The thing that causes Miyako’s issue is often misinterpreted to be about her selfishly wanting everything to herself, or the idea she’s fighting for attention with her siblings, but Hawkmon actually says what the real problem is in direct words: her crowded family is “noisy”. Or in other words -- Miyako, being the overly empathetic type and someone who easily succumbs to stress, is just really overwhelmed and stressed because of everything around her.
An interesting thing about Miyako’s “illusion” is that it’s the only one that in itself starts making its victim feel lonely and sad even before it’s taken away or dispelled -- Takeru and Iori had to have their happy images pulled away from them, Hikari had to have Tailmon clarify that everything is fake, and Ken had to have Wormmon personally chase the image of his brother away. But in the case of Miyako, all Hawkmon has to do is ask if she’s happy right now, and she’s quick to admit that she’s not. It’s just that everything was stressful and overwhelming and there was so much to deal with all of the time, and for once she wanted to be able to enjoy a little peace, but she loves her family and she loves everyone around her and she doesn’t want to be alone, and she’d rather have them back even if it’s stressful. Miyako’s love for others is so strong that even an illusion supposedly made to cater to her won’t make her happy if everyone’s gone.
Miyako also takes the moment to realize that for all Hawkmon’s been going out of his way to be steadfast and loyal to her, she hasn’t been doing enough to understand her own partner in turn, and there’s still a lot more she can do in terms of thinking of others.
Miyako after 02
As per Spring 2003, once Miyako graduates elementary school and moves to middle school, she continues trying to be helpful to her juniors -- she joins the computer club and once again ends up under Koushirou, and now outright makes music for Yamato’s band (some creative differences aside). It’s also interesting to note her attitude towards her other friends when she tries to recruit them into her music unit -- she snarks at everyone right up until she gets to Ken, who declines politely, and in exchange, she just can't bring herself to be mean to him and simply apologizes for asking too much. It’s ambiguous whether this is because she’s still trying to have a heightened level of consideration around him (this is still only four months after 02′s finish, after all), but it seems she’s still concerned about the idea of handling him overly roughly, and is able to exercise a proper level of restraint about him.
Which brings us all the way to Kizuna, a whole eight years later where we have to fill in a lot of blanks about what’s been happening in the meantime, but the official website establishes that she’s now pursuing a degree in computer programming at an engineering university, and is now on study abroad in Spain (implied to be Barcelona, given details in both the movie itself and the drama CD). Pretty ambitious stuff!...or at least that’s the first impression one would get, until it turns out that she’s getting her flighty personality enabled by the local culture. As we learn in the drama CD, she’s absolutely taking the time to milk this entire situation so she can play around -- and, in accordance with how she was established to be an important factor in bringing Hikari out of her shell, it’s rubbing off on Hikari, too.
In addition, Miyako is still working under Koushirou despite their educational careers having completely diverged, this time as his assistant in terms of managing the Chosen Child community. Interestingly, her specific job seems to be consultation, and people come to her for “advice and stuff” -- meaning that it’s very likely that a lot of new Chosen Children who are having a hard time adjusting to life with a partner are coming to her for practical and emotional advice, and she’s still continuing to channel her ability to be emotionally aware and supportive of others.
That is to say, until she gets a mysterious request from a certain Menoa Bellucci. We learn later that Menoa’s motive was to obtain the list of international Chosen Children, meaning that she most definitely was not approaching Miyako for emotional help, and with that, Miyako decides that she doesn’t want to do this and dumps it on her seniors...
...but then picks it back up with zero hesitation the moment her friends present her that exact same job, and not only is it just “zero hesitation”, Ken even comments on how “fast” she arrived to do so! (This was also before Iori came up with the plan to infiltrate Menoa’s office; there wasn’t any indication Miyako’s computer abilities would be particularly necessary at the time.) On top of that, the drama CD gives us full context as to why she was so willing to dump this on her seniors in the first place -- she had wanted to see her friends so badly that she practically invented D-3 gate exploitation so she could hang out with her friends despite technically being in another country, and even wanted to invite them to come visit her, and eventually they’d all made an organized plan to meet up in New York. In other words, her loyalty to her friends is still stronger than anything else -- remember, she’s the kind of person who was picking up tons of jobs specifically so she could help her friends in the first place.
On that note, Ken’s ability to be casual with everyone besides Daisuke has noticeably improved, and that’s especially prominent with Miyako, whom he proactively converses with in a way that wouldn’t have happened back in 02, and, likewise, in contrast to the sense of distance she’d still been maintaining with him back during the final arc of 02 and Spring 2003, she has no qualms about handling him as casually as she would anyone else.
Which eventually leads us to...
This is a recurring theme on this blog, but every so often I have to draw the distinction between creative concepts “in meta” (i.e. the way the audience will read it, in relation to franchise standards and other real-life factors) and said concepts “in-universe” (i.e. with audience factors completely removed, whether there’s a presumable logical reason for these events happening in-universe, and whether this is reasonable behavior to expect out of the characters). This blog is largely dedicated to the latter, but the reason why I have to keep drawing this distinction in the first place is that I get the impression that the staff behind Adventure and 02 really did not pay much mind to the former part as part of their dedication to the latter. And, I mean, part of the reason I respect the writing of Adventure and 02 so much is how uncompromising they were in terms of not really pandering to what a fanbase might expect, which allowed the story to retain a lot of creative integrity that it wouldn’t have otherwise.
But every so often you get something like this that makes me want to just bang my head on the table and scream, I swear, I get what you guys were going for, but I am begging you, please think a little harder about how people are going to read this!! In general, I do think there’s something that’s not very good about disregarding your audience completely, because if you’re trying to say important things and those things are going directly over your audience’s heads (this is a kids’ show, for goodness’s sake), you can’t call that good communication, and it’s not like you can blame the audience for getting blindsided or being upset, and this is before we get into what they just dropped on the global audience that was presumably full of young girls interested in STEM fields who were hoping to see them go all the way with that, or the feelings of those who are bothered that one character has to be singled out to be defined solely by her relationship to others, and I mean -- to be fair, with a character like Miyako and the tons of things going on with her, there was probably no outcome they could come up with that wouldn’t be reinforcing some negative stereotype (believe it or not, there are people who have conversely mentioned identifying deeply with Miyako’s personal story and the meaning of this ending to them, and have also expressed discomfort about some of the comments the fanbase has made over the years), but at the same time, holy hell, they really went for the one that immediately looks the worst on its face...
...That aside, I will reiterate that this is a blog and analysis meant for that latter category of “analyzing things in-universe”, and making good-faith assumptions that there was a reason for everything (and, I’ll be quite honest, reading everything the staff has said about the characters, including Miyako, there is no indication that they didn’t treat every single one of them with love and zero intention to curse any of them into a horrible fate). We can debate whether this was a good or bad choice in the context of real life, or how much they really should have thought this through more or considered alternative ways to do this, in another place and time (it’s been done by many other people, myself included, in the last 20 years, and it will most certainly continue after this, and probably should continue). It’s not like I’m necessarily giving my blessing to every single creative decision in Adventure or 02 in running this blog, it’s more of the attitude of “now that this decision was in the series, can we figure out what that was intended to mean?”, and that’s going to apply to this one too. And so, we’ll proceed with the analysis.
In any case, here’s the first thing to start with, which may surprise some people to learn: at no point in the epilogue is the word “housewife” ever used to refer to Miyako. The only words that Takeru uses to describe her are: that she is married to Ken and is a mother of three. Not only that, post-02 materials that have referred to the epilogue and Miyako’s part in it have also avoided using that word -- the Character Complete File and the Animation Chronicle only reiterate the same points of “married to Ken” and “mother of three children”, and practically go out of their way to avoid insinuating that being a stay-at-home housewife is the main focus of her life right now. It would have been so easy to say it outright if they’d wanted to, but they didn’t, and they consistently don’t, to the point the omission is almost suspicious. And, indeed, if you want to believe the Character Complete File, Miyako is not a full-time housewife and is simply not working at the time of the epilogue due to maternity leave because the third child had recently been born. So it’s completely within the realm of possibility that she’s still working! In that case, why is something that could easily be a big deal left ambiguous like this?
If you look at the way the epilogue presents its information, there’s a certain pattern: what information is emphasized and what information is given little attention or omitted has very little to do with “how curious the audience would be about it”, but rather “how relevant it is”; just because a certain piece of information is omitted doesn’t mean it necessarily isn’t true. For example, Sora; she’s married to Yamato, but despite how much the audience would probably consider that as vital information, it’s left for you to infer from the visuals and an oblique comment that Sora’s daughter is a “dependable older sister”, and even the question of whether Sora did succeed her mother in flower arrangement is left up in the air despite that also probably being a question the audience is curious about (and in fact, a few flower branches are clearly visible in the front, implying very heavily that, whatever happened, she’s at least still maintaining her roots with her family instead of violently cutting it all off). But we do learn about the fact that she went into fashion design, which is something that’s not an expectation that was placed by her family but rather something she presumably decided on herself. Hence, presumably why that’s the part emphasized, and moreso than her marriage to Yamato -- said marriage is of course an important part of her life, but it’s not as prominent as the fact that she has her own independent career, especially since her entire character arc was about doing things that she wanted for herself instead of doing things for others. That is to say, compared to their own individual ambitions, Sora and Yamato’s love life is “an important part, but not the important part.” This is especially when you add the context that Takeru is delivering abridged single-sentence “catch-up” descriptions of his friends on their behalf (possibly to the world, if this is part of his novel), and so, it begs the question: what would each of these characters want to be most remembered for accomplishing?
(And if you think I’m being tinfoil hat about this, remember that a constant theme with this blog I’m running is that “being annoyingly subtle and relying on ridiculously oblique messaging” like this permeates the entirety of 02 in general, and it’s definitely not the only time they’ve used this kind of technique to communicate details that are too consistent and on-the-nose to be passed off as coincidence. As far as assuming that this series follows rational storytelling logic goes, we are far past that point, and in ways that extend far beyond this epilogue.)
So we look back at Miyako, and the hobbies she’d indulged in and what purpose they were for, and her personality, and the fact that the main point of her character arc was about her complex that she would never be a good enough person who could properly emotionally reach out and take care of others -- in some ways, her arc was the opposite of Sora’s, in that while Sora’s was about not being as beholden to others, Miyako’s was about how to become someone who can better support others -- and once we apply the above question, there lies the answer to why the priority and emphasis given to her future in the epilogue is “Miyako is the kind of person who prioritizes taking care of and supporting her loved ones more than anything else.”
This is especially because (in an epilogue with not very many lines, so every bit of information becomes vital) the lines we see Miyako and her family exchange are representative of a lot of what that character arc was about. According to her son, Miyako is still her panicky and emotionally messy self, even when in the role of the matriarch of a large family who’s responsible for taking care of all of them. She did not ever become the ideal “gentle” and “mature” kind of person that she considered Mimi and Hikari to be and negatively compared herself to. However, her family responds by cheerfully laughing, which is -- most likely not coincidentally -- the same thing that was shown to be the positive flip side of Miyako’s over-the-top personality back in 02 episodes 31, 36, and 38, in that it brings joy and cheer to others.
If you do want to take the Character Complete File’s statement at face value, the fact that she’s on self-imposed maternity leave means that it’s very likely she wasn’t on a salaried job and was instead freelancing, or at least was involved with something that didn’t require constant commitment. Considering the fact she’s consistently portrayed as an impatient sort who gets bored easily, she probably would prefer something more flexible like freelancing or at least not being tied to a single thing; even looking back at her completely disparate hobbies back when she was a kid, when she was basically jack-of-all-trades-ing to fit whatever people needed her for, she never really came off as someone who could commit very easily to a single form of work, but what she did have commitment to was other people, especially her friends and family. If you (or, perhaps, Takeru) were to ask her during the time of the epilogue “what are you up to right now?”, it’s not really that hard to believe that gushing about her lovely family would come before everything else; not to say that everyone else here (especially her own husband) isn’t presumably devoted to their own families, but Miyako’s the type to have that much higher sense of pride in what she does for those she cares about than she would have particular attachment to any kind of work. Look at her behavior during Kizuna; she’s pursuing a degree in computer programming and thus is still aiming to be a busybody with a high level of skill, but when given a job by a stranger, she immediately dumps it off on her seniors so she can be with her friends, then happily accepts that same job again when the same friends present it back to her.
So, in other words, the conclusion is: the biggest priority and most important thing to Miyako in regards to her future is that she finally became someone who could properly support others around her, even in spite of her personality that would suggest otherwise.
In addition, the fact that she has three children might initially come off as a little in-your-face or overkill, but remember that Miyako came from a family with four siblings, and 02 episode 49 had her say outright that she does treasure that – or, in other words, being part of a big family surrounded by affection and love is something she considers to be a valuable part of her life (especially since the age gaps between the three children imply a reasonable likelihood of actual family planning, moreso than even Miyako’s own).
Incidentally, this is just a bit of a personal note, but one might notice that I’ve also never actually used the word “housewife” to refer to the epilogue’s depiction of Miyako in the course of writing for this blog, because of how little evidence we have that she is one – being on temporary maternity leave still being a very viable and, given the post-02 materials we now have, arguably heavily likely interpretation, it’s not like you’d necessarily call someone a housewife if their break from work is only temporary, even if they’re a freelancer. Given the above circumstances, perhaps something like “family matriarch” would be more accurate…
#digimon#digimon adventure 02#digimon adventure last evolution kizuna#inoue miyako#miyako inoue#kizuna spoilers#shihameta
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ok ok ok ok I frickin LOVE this blog and finally got the courage for an ask so here we go (only if you wanna, no pressure)- how would Nightmare's Scary Band of Sanses (nightmare, error, killer, horror, and dust) react to a SO who's incredibly badass but kind of crazy? Idk man I'm just thinking of Jack-Sparrow/Mad Hatter type deal; they'll go on what seem to be completely hairbrained schemes right in the middle of battle exept they always EnD Up WOrKinG as if they were genius, thought out plans all along (no one can tell if the SO's incredibly smart or just insane; the SO never confirms which so most just say they're both). nobody knows what this SO is thinking at any given moment. jus gimme fluff and headcannons for an absolute wild card being lovey dovey with a band of au destroying murderers. thank youuuu~
OH I LOVE ME SOME CHAOS GREMLIN, I haven’t gotten too many asks yet for Nightmare, error, killer and dust, as they are the newest editions to the blog. My horror sans isn’t apart of their gang either, as he is just trying to heal from a life time of trauma. (but frankly, the idea of Axe getting a bunch of off their rocker friends showing up at his house, eating his food, bringing him things like little magpies is absolutely hysterical)
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Nightmare
He doesn’t understand a single thing you say to him EVER. He doesn’t know how to process positive emotions very well, but he tries very hard. He concludes the wrong thing, constantly. The fact your around him at all, is the absolute hardest thing, for him to process, of all the things. He complains, but frankly, it doesn’t sound even remotely genuine. “You spout nothing but bullshit don’tcha??” You tell him and he’s losing his mind. “yOU ARE THE ENTIRE MONARCHY OF BULLSHIT??”
“That’s why I can say it!”
“nO.”
He’s frankly, a big cuddler, one of the biggest signs his words are nothing but bullshit. He sounds exasperated, but he’s smiling. You try to stop cuddling him and he’s pulling you back, or finding some other way to interact or have some semblance of touch with you.
Error
Teach him the bullshit madness, how do you do things? You... improvise?? Terrible, disgusting, keep your fucking secrets then. For some reason he just, cannot accept that you just Do Things (tm) and its the funniest god damn thing in the world. Everything you do is so not put together and yet, like the mad lad that you are, they WORK. He’s happy you’re with him. He’s not big on touch, its overwhelming and upsetting, so words and the like is enough for him. Its his love language frankly. He doesn’t realize, but you’re part of the reason his schemes fall apart the way that they do. In a comical villain sense. He is one, but you increase that factor tenfold. He’s busy, doing his thing, and you interject with some form of question. “i’M GLAD YOU ASKED-” and there he goes, going off the deep end of his trauma, and absolutely, wrong, conclusions that the multiverse is in need of elimination.
Killer
He thinks you’re HILARIOUS, and frankly, he’s correct. You guys just kind of go places together, goofing off. He’s distracted from killing when you’re around. You make him laugh and smile for real, and with that, the numbness wears off. The flood comes out and he kind of randomly has a mental breakdown at times, and you just. Scoop him up. Talk him down, and through it. And once he’s done, you both head back out to do more stupid shenanigans. Its easy to be with you, and he’s able to just vibe a little more, like an exhausted demon who decides to start going fishing because murder just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Dust
Papyrus thinks, you should probably calm down, but he thinks Papyrus is WRONG and that you’re GREAT. He’s not really making any sense either, but its okay because you just. Get it. You get that his brother is there, at least in his mind. You get just telling him he isn’t, makes things worse and just upsets him. You help him set up a nice greenhouse, and just, name all his plants with him. You have so many plant babies. Look at em. You don’t judge him, and so he’s able to be so much more open with you. You don’t look at him like he’s insane, or like he’s lost his marbles. He feels like he makes sense and belongs with you. No one understands the two of you, but you guys get each other and that’s all you really need.
Axe
You remind him of a stray cat who can’t sit still. You crawl in through his window, yelling that you come baring gifts, excited and enthusiastically. He’s your tired, aggressive boy, who doesn’t have too much oomf anymore. He never liked what he was doing in the underground, and he’s happy to be on the surface. He always makes sure the window is unlocked so you can come in, as it is your preferred method of entering his house. He never knows when you’ll come, but you always do. And frankly, its sweet that you meet him in the middle everywhere you two go. Every once in awhile, he lets you bring him on an adventure, just for kicks.
#horrortale#horrortale sans#ht sans#DT sans#dusttale#dusttale sans#error sans#nightmare sans#ask#headcanon#undertale headcanons#undertale headcanon#undertale imagines#undertale imagine
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🍌Wed 2 Dec ‘20💚
Harry Styles Reacts to Banana Innuendo Rumors by Making EVEN MORE Banana Innuendos part TWO
Good morning/evening/night to Harry’s post and Harry’s post ONLY! (Okay that’s not true but it was definitely a highlight of my day). In case people haven’t seen it yet, it’s Harry in a light blue custom made suit putting a penis banana in his mouth. The picture is captioned “Bring Back Manly Men” so take a suck on THAT Candace Owens! It was only one of many great pictures in his variety shoot (including another, um, fruity picture of him biting into a pomegranate okay Persephone we get it), but Harry did indeed choose That One to post on This, the day after banana necklace dickscourse, BLESS. Harry’s interview was a little more in depth than they have been in the past, touching upon his feelings on race (“Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music. There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change”), as well as his tattoos (the only time he regrets them is in the DWD makeup chair), his love of reading, fashion and art, his exercise routine (Kid Harpoon couldn’t keep up!), and his feelings on success and acclaim (“It’s never why I do anything...it's always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff...Fans are the best A&R”).
The problems arose - as they so often do - when One Direction was mentioned. The article said that “The proof [of the band’s benefits] is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members- Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles- each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond”. Leaving aside the bad math (that's 4 people!) one name, of course, is notably missing: Louis has in fact enjoyed quite a lot of success both with Walls (remember when his album went #1 on iTunes in the UK AND the US literally 2 months ago?) and his pre-Walls singles like “Back To You” and “Just Hold On”. It got worse because the author tried to back up her claim with Harry’s quote, “When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band...but we loved being in the band...I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it”. By linking her own words with Harry's quote she made it seem as though Harry said it to agree with her biased take, which we'd know he didn't even if we hadn't heard him say this exact quote without that slant multiple times before. Fans were quick to point out both to the author and to Variety that they were wrong (to describe the reaction mildly), and the author rather than fixing the mistake, doubled down and began blocking fans. Plenty of people were quick to say that of course HSHQ and Harry had approved this content, despite more knowledgeable fans trying to be heard protesting that that is not how it works. (Remember how just recently Vogue got Harry’s whole ass FAMILY situation wrong and it was not corrected until after print, for example?) In fact, even the magazine didn't really proofread this- the print version of the article is different and says, “The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members - Styles, Malik and Horan”, effectively erasing both Louis AND Liam. It's an annoying take either way, but it's one the author more than likely picked up by doing her research on harrie twitter, not on orders from Jeff.
And because we DO NOT STAND FOR LILO ERASURE ON THIS BLOG, let’s talk about Liam’s Web Summit panel! It was 25 minutes of Liam and Marian Dicus (VP of Spotify) being interviewed about the current and future state of the music industry. Both of them, of course, noted that things had changed very quickly in their careers back at the beginning of lockdown, and how it had seemed surreal, at first, but that Liam had found that the way he was operating now (with Veeps and Tik Tok and Instagram lives) had made his platform a two way interaction with his fans. “For a long time I've been living in a dream world where I thought I was speaking with my fans but really I was just talking at them whereas we as artists ask a lot of rhetorical questions... I wanted to start a conversation”. Marian discussed how engaging fans differently WAS one of the most difficult things to puzzle out at the beginning, but that as months have passed, it seems artists like Liam have found a viable virtual future in the music industry (Liam tells us that he's been doing “stadium size shows” on Veeps which is an exciting clue about the mystery of how many tickets they're selling). They also went into the way music trends change as a response to social and political occurrences, how comfort songs gave way to protest songs this summer. Liam said, “People want their artists to have an opinion nowadays it's not that we can stay out of the conversation anymore-- and nor do we feel that we should in many places-- but for me it's a fine line because I realize what I do for people is an escape, people don't want things rammed down their throats every day and news messages from me about things that they don't want to hear about if they've come to listen to music, so its a real fine line that we kind of teeter on”. And about his opening acts, he acknowledges that his fanbase are mostly young women (based on the data breakdowns he gets from his team), and so he feels a responsibility to mentor young female artists in the industry so that more people like his fans have a voice. In an interview full of really fascinating music and technical discussions, this remained my favorite moment from Liam. Just like we won’t erase HIM, he refuses to erase US! And let's not forget our Liam alarm of the day-- it starts out absolutely adorable (“good moooorning!”), is hilarious in that apparently he just rambled completely unscripted and then they awkwardly cut it into 25 parts, but today's installment is frankly not relaxing! “only 23 sleeps til christmas have you done your shopping are you prepared” excuse me Liam YOU ARE STRESSING ME OUT. The promised relaxing sleep story affirmations are still 'coming soon'-- hurry up please I need them to decompress after that alarm!
Now for a lightning round of epic proportions: DWD darling pictures and vids keep comin’ and Harry and Florence are both looking GORGEOUS as Jack and Alice, after the Variety shoot dropped ‘THE CAPTION’, ‘BRING BACK MANLY MEN’, and ‘LOUIS IS SUCCESSFUL’ trended worldwide on twitter, Tan France said “yes please” to Harry's banana post, Harry reiterated that London was home and he didn’t want to be in LA for longer than he needed to,Variety has its virtual show tomorrow at 5 pm PST so see you there! Veeps is sending out emails promoting Louis’ show to people who bought LP show tickets, fans have already started to receive their Louis Tomlinson Live From London merch, Trinity College in Dublin’s Law society presented Niall with an award for, uh, his Irishness, I guess? (Just kidding, it’s for “his incredible talent and work ethics which is famously underscored by a distinct humility despite unthinkable success”). It looks like he will be giving a talk when he’s presented with it, and I’m honestly really interested to see what it’s all about - is he...gonna be talking to law students? Idk but tune in on December 7th at 12 pm GMT to find out!
#harry styles#liam payne#louis tomlinson#niall horan#also i am seeing discourse about H's COOP and how he loves the Manchester music scene#but that this stadium will be changing it irrevocably#i mean it will be adding jobs (4000 of them!) but it will also be pushing out the small music scenes that benefits small independent artists#who are trying to break through into the indusrty#*industry#and i think thats a really interesting and important convo#of which i dont have any knowledge but i did want to shine some light on it#also!! tumblr has finally recced me something that i like! a store called 28cultures.com#and its NOT larry merch but it COULD BE its SO COOL!!!!#this isnt spon con i just thought it was so funny!#anyways!#song of the day~#savior complex by phoebe bridgers#(and rob moose!)
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ok hello i absolutely love all ur fics, you’ve just got a certain quality in ur writing that is just… mmm. yeah so anyway, do you have any advice on how to improve or just how to write?? (especially fic cause personally i struggle with that more than original stuff??)
hello!! that is very kind of you to say thank you <3
advice on how to write. oh boy. oh man. well i can try. i will do my best. i will also try to be brief but we all know how that song goes
update from having finished answering this: alright. okay. this is not only long, but decidedly english teacher-y. i’m sorry that i am the way that i am. this is what you get for asking a leo for writing advice. am i joking? maybe. maybe not. anyway. this post got away from me in a big way so here’s a read more. warning: LONG post under the cut.
1. study your characters. for RPF like the band stuff i write, that literally means watching interviews, watching them perform, seeing how they interact with each other, picking up on their mannerisms (behavior) - what they do with their hands, if they repeat themselves or stutter when they talk, the quality of their voice when they're talking about different things, and so on. also keep track of things they mention a lot in interviews especially about each other - for example jack has mentioned before that alex has an annoying habit of twirling his hair when he zones out. that kind of thing. IMPORTANT NOTE!: you don’t have to use all of this information. just like studying for anything, you collect all the information you can and then you parse through it and use whatever you think will contribute or be relevant to your story.
2. remember that characters are people. or at least they’re representing people, which is an important distinction (see #3). still, considering that your characters are people can be a helpful way to get out of your head. see, characters are supposed to be archetypical, and fulfill a role, and say certain things in certain ways and never really deviate from that. but people are highly unpredictable and behave in random ways for random reasons and have thought processes that are unfathomable. people will just do fuckin’ whatever. if you’re worried that your characters aren’t behaving in a believable way, keep in mind that you’re trying to make your characters represent people, and people’s behavior is justifiable any number of ways. people just do shit.
3. remember that characters are not people. sike! no but seriously, this is just as important to remember. unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, characters are never going to be people. that’s a good thing for stories, though. characters can pick up on nuance in senses that people can’t - they can distinguish between different facial expressions, different smells, different sounds - BUT ONLY INSOFAR AS IT MOVES THE STORY ALONG. in other ways, characters are ridiculously oblivious. you can use this to your advantage. in fact, a lot of the time, you have to. if your character notices right away that someone is flirting with him, then you can’t write a 30k slow burn, for example. characters don’t do that thing humans do where they go “what?” but then halfway through the re-explanation they register what’s been said. pretty much everything characters say has meaning. (by this i don’t mean semantic meaning, i mean significance - characters don’t really just say “what?” because they didn’t hear what someone said, they say “what?” because they can’t believe it or they don’t understand it or they refuse to understand it. characters never seem to run into the didn’t-hear-them problem. must be nice.)
characters can do whatever you want or need them to do, because you’re in charge of them. (sometimes this doesn’t feel true - mine do all kinds of shit and i just have go “well alright then” - but it is true.) they are gears in a story. you decide when and how they turn.
4. dialogue is your friend. i am super super biased here, because i looove writing dialogue. if you talk to sam about this i’m sure she would say that description and narration are the ways to go. but you came to me, so i get to say that dialogue is god. i don’t want to say that dialogue is the only method of communication (i know nonverbal communication is real), but dialogue is the fastest and most effective method of communication, and by extension, the most effective way to advance relationships between characters. now. obviously there are exceptions. if characters are kissing, they’re probably not doing a lot of talking. if they’re trying to be undercover or discreet, they’re more likely to rely on gestures and facial expressions than speaking. if you’re writing a very peaceful scene, you might not want to undercut it by adding a lot of chit-chat. but i maintain that dialogue is the best way to move a story along, for a few reasons.
first, at least for me, too much description is just tiring. depending on how skillful the writer is (sam), i can read a fair amount before i hit my limit, but unlike in mean girls, the limit DOES exist. you don’t want to over-describe the world (see #5). second, i find that dialogue is a really really good indicator of a person’s character. this is especially true and relevant in fanfiction, which is a lot more character-driven than original fiction in many ways. also, in a sec i’m gonna talk about showing [not/and] telling, which is every english teacher’s bitch, but dialogue is a really good way of showing who a person is and also a good way to establish facts about the universe. you could just narrate and be like “Jack hated waking up early,” and that works and in many cases it’s perfectly legit. but you could also do something like this:
“What the fuck,” Jack mumbled, still half asleep. “You better have a really fucking good reason to be waking me up this early. Like someone better have fucking died.”
and sometimes that’s just a more fun way to say it. (for the record you can also show AND tell here! there’s no reason why you can’t have this line of dialogue and then a line in the narration confirming how very much jack is not a morning person!)
the last reason why i am particularly fond of dialogue is because i am also particularly fond of communication, which is a preference thing. let’s face it, guys: characters aren’t gonna communicate if they’re not literally actually talking to each other. dialogue means talking to each other. talking to each other means solving problems, fixing (or creating) conflicts, understanding each other better. i love communication, ergo, i love dialogue. And You Should Too.
5. describe the world, but don’t over-describe. i opened this fic earlier and it was like “jack was excited to wake up to go to his first class at the university of baltimore” and i just. i was like is this really relevant. do i really need to know this. and i never found out because i closed the fic but in my defense it was on wattpad and i had only opened it out of curiosity. look. there are three ways to use details in fic. (a) introduce them right away (b) introduce them when they become relevant or (c) don’t introduce them at all. let me give you some examples.
(a) say your character A (i’m using jack because i’m used to him) wakes up. he’s in his room in his house off-campus. character B (rian) walks into the room. this might be a good time to explain that rian is his housemate. to that point: “show not tell” is a good rule, but sometimes “show and tell” is just as good. e.g.:
Rian walks in, holding Jack’s Green Day shirt and looking irritated. That’s really nothing new; Rian looks irritated at Jack roughly once a day. Being housemates for a year will do that to a friendship.
boom, now you’ve let everyone know they live together without throwing it in their face, and you’ve also told everyone that these two guys are friends and have been friends for at least a year but probably longer. you showed it by having rian walking in holding jack’s shirt - usual housemate behavior - but you also told it in a subtle way that established the relationship and some kind of history between these two. well done.
(b) sometimes you want a certain detail to make an impact. this is the kind of thing you hold onto and don’t specify, and in certain cases you leave the reader wondering, “well what about x?” and then when you finally explain x they go ohhhhhhhhhh. yknow. the italicized oh. consider the following:
(A)
“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says, referring to Jack’s ex-boyfriend of last year.
Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”
“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”
“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”
Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”
(B)
“Alex is in my bio class,” Rian says.
Jack frowns. “So? Why should I care?”
“He’s my lab partner,” Rian says. “I have to spend a lot of time with him.”
“I don’t care what you and Alex do,” Jack says. “But you should know he sucks at bio.”
Rian gives Jack a look. “First of all, that’s not true, he’s incredibly smart. And second, I’m telling you as a courtesy, because I thought you might not want your ex-boyfriend hanging around our house after he broke your fucking heart.”
the only difference between these two excerpts (which i just wrote lol they’re not from anything real) is that the second one doesn’t explain who alex is right away. that makes it way more interesting when rian reveals who alex is a few lines later. magic.
(c) take this college au that we’ve established here. where does it take place, you ask? easy answer: it doesn’t matter. you don’t need to say what school they’re at. this will make your job easier, because then no one can fact check you, and it also means you don’t have to decide what school they’re at. but even if you do decide, it’s not usually necessary to say. believe me, you can go thousands of words without ever needing to specify what school they’re at. you know why? because it doesn’t matter. and no one cares. and as soon as you specify in canon that they’re at a particular school, you are bound to be accurate to everything that school does, and that makes your job way more difficult than it needs to be. as hazel once said, work smarter, not harder.
6. adverbs are also your friend. (yknow, words that describe verbs, typically ending in -ly, like “loudly” or “angrily” or “smoothly”.) ESPECIALLY when it comes to dialogue tags. (dialogue tags are the things you add to dialogue to say who’s talking and how they’re talking - like “he said” or “he whispered” or “he earnestly explained” or whatever). a lot of the writing advice you’ll see nowadays will usually guide you away from overusing dialogue tags other than the classic “says/said” and i STRONGLY concur with that advice. things like yelled, cried, mumbled, snapped - these are very good in moderation, when you’re really trying to emphasize the way a person is speaking. the more you use them, the less impact they have. in most cases, a simple “he said [adverb]” will do. instead of “he snapped” consider “he said curtly/sharply/coldly.” instead of “he mumbled” consider “he said quietly/clumsily/softly.” I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THESE ARE NOT DIRECT SYNONYMS. every word has a nuanced and slightly different meaning and that is the BEAUTY of the english language!!!! all i’m saying is that in many cases, a verb can be replaced with an adverb to achieve roughly the same effect, without making the reader feel like they’re scanning a thesaurus.
and speaking of a thesaurus: it’s not cheating to use outside resources like thesaurus.com to help you come up with words. i fuckin love thesaurus.com. i use that shit all the time for everything. i use it when i’m writing emails. i used it just now to write that last paragraph. thesaurus.com is your BEST friend.
7. grammar. (and spelling but that’s really a given.) unfortunately if i tried to teach you all of the essential rules of grammar this post would exceed tumblr’s previously-nonexistent word count limit. so i’m not gonna teach you any of them. this is just a general point to suggest that if/when you’re writing, have someone you trust, with a good grasp of grammar, look over it. of course it doesn’t have to be perfect or AP style or anything like that. readers will overlook a certain amount of grammar mistakes and every reader has a different threshold. but in general, as a grammar geek and former journalism editor-in-chief, i have a duty to my grammurai code to preach the importance of grammar in writing. good grammar does not necessarily mean good writing and vice versa, bad grammar does not necessarily mean bad writing, but bad grammar makes good writing a lot harder to read, and in some cases will even obscure your actual meaning. so please, have someone read it. for the record this is me offering up my services. i am very good at fixing grammar. i have lots of weaknesses in writing but grammar is one of my strengths. please prioritize grammar. thank you for coming to my ted talk.
***
okay so now that i’ve said all of this shit and pretended to be an expert and embodied everyone’s tenth grade english teacher, let me add one very important disclaimer:
none of this is always relevant.* writing is an art, not a science. you are never going to be following all of the rules, all of the time. you shouldn’t. it’s good to know the basics of constructing a plot, establishing a character, showing and/not telling, moving the story along. but a lot of this advice is really subjective and heavily influenced by my writing experience and habits and tendencies and preferences, and those are simply not generalizable to the world. i am a sample size of one and science dictates that that means my results cannot be statistically significant. i am just some guy. earlier i said you don’t want to over-describe the world. but maybe you do! maybe you’re really into worldbuilding and you want people to know what they’re getting into. maybe you’re like sam, and you just don’t feel as confident in your dialogue skills but you love painting word pictures. i said that adverbs are your friend, but maybe you just prefer to use verbs. maybe you don’t want ANY dialogue tags and you want the reader to interpret the dialogue based on context and content. i said that characters aren’t people and they won’t behave like people, but maybe you’re trying to write hyper-realistic characters. maybe you’re just going for believability over narrative. WHATEVER. the point is, rules are made to be broken. no one is going to have The Answer for How To Write Good because there isn’t just one answer. every single writing rule has exceptions and you can be that exception as many times as you want.
*except grammar. grammar is fucking always relevant.
i hope any of this advice was helpful to you, even though i english teacher-ed the fuck out of it. and for what it’s worth, i approached this as if you were a relatively novice writer, but i know absolutely jack shit about your writing prowess and experience and habits. so maybe you already know all of this and none of what i’ve said is helpful at all. if you have a more specific problem, i would be happy to try and help. if you’re hoping for more specific feedback, i’d have to read something of yours first - but again, happy to try and help. i don’t know if you can tell but i loooove writing and english and grammar and all of this shit and it would be my honor. i have now spoken so long that james madison himself is begging me to shut up so i’ll stop here but thank you for coming by and giving me the opportunity to expatiate a shit ton. and GOOD LUCK i forgot the most important advice of writing which is HAVE FUN LOVE WHAT YOU WRITE AND WRITE WHAT YOU LOVE OKAY BYE
#yowza#mamma mia#hachi machi#someone get this bitch a muzzle#i feel like i keep saying i sound like an english teacher here but i never specify that im not actually an english teacher#god i wish my blog brand was just 'the person you come to with writing questions'#is it too late to establish myself as that#ask#writing advice#stuff#im giving it the stuff tag. i said enough that i feel like it's earned the stuff tag.#anonymous#if i keep looking at this im just going to keep adding things because adhd-coded brain wants ME to overdescribe. hypocrite#so im just gonna hit post n run#good luck
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On set visits; Queen x reader x Borhap boys pt. 1
*Author's note*
Alright so this part is broken up into 2 parts so here is the 1st part of the Bohemian Rhapsody film set visit. Part 2 will be up in just a second after I get done with this author's note. So expect some crazy stuff happening, fluffiness and the Rock Angel reminiscing on her past with the boys.
Taglist:
@plethora-of-things
@waddles03
@psychosupernatural
@ixchel-9275
@simonedk
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels
@queensdivas
@queendeakyy
@wormzteef
@geek-and-proud
@starswin
@isabella-bby
@onebigfangirlworld
@labessieisallama
@5sos-wdw
@ssa-sadboi
@naturalswifty89
@bohemiansweede
_________________________________________________________
*Sept. 2017. Filming Bohemian Rhapsody*
I almost couldn't believe it myself. I mean I knew that the boys were planning on a film about themselves and that it was taking them almost 10 years just to get it off the ground. But now after multiple rewrites of the script and better casting, the film was ready to get off the ground.
"So you're absolutely sure I can stop by whenever I feel like it? No matter how many times?" I spoke into my I-phone.
'Absolutely love, just as long as you don't spill any secrets.'
"Please Bri, when have I ever revealed anything to anyone about you guys?"
'Well there was the time—'
"That was a fluck and you know it!" I snapped.
'I'm kidding love, you've never spilled any secrets. You've gotten better at lying lately.' Brian chuckled.
"Well when you say it like that it makes me feel guilty."
'As it should love. So when can we expect you?'
"I'll try to get there before the filming starts, so I may end up going to bed now so that way I can get on the road early enough to beat traffic."
'I know Rog is looking forward to seeing you again.'
"I just did the summer tour with you guys, how could he already miss me?"
'It's a mystery to all of us, but he is your father after all.'
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay well I'll see you tomorrow Bri."
'See you then (y/n). sweet dreams and drive safe tomorrow.'
"Will do. Love you."
'Love you too poppet.' I then hung up and couldn't help but grin.
"You still going over to see them film tomorrow?" I turned and low and behold after a long day's shift there was my husband coming in from his police work.
"Well, well, well, look what the cat threw up." I teased.
"Ha-ha you're hilarious my love." He said as he undid his tie and unbuttoned his short. "So the film's finally taking off the ground?"
"Yep, and they finally found a better Freddie Mercury."
"Yeah cause I remember when you called and told me about Sacha Baron Cohen."
"I just couldn't stand the fact that he was wanting to expose the dark side of Freddie. I mean yeah he had the parties, and the drugs, the sex, but that's all what Rock and rollers did back in those days. Plus that's all he seemed to care about. The scandal that came with Freddie's name, nothing about the music. I'm only just glad Bri sided with me on it." I ranted as Jack came up after taking his shirt and undoing his pants and began to rub my shoulders.
"I know love. You're as protective of this project as Brian and Roger are. So do you know who exactly they got to play Freddie this time?"
"No, but I'll find out tomorrow."
"Okay well, my team's got a heavy lead on the case so I won't really be available tomorrow."
"I understand. Just—promise me you'll be careful my love. I haven't forgotten that one killer that shot you in the line of duty."
"I survived didn't I? Plus now we both have a bullet story to share." He leaned his forehead against mine.
"Not funny Jack." I muttered.
"I know. C'mon let's get some sleep. We both have got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." I nodded and then we both got into bed and we fell asleep.
Early the next morning I was on my way over to the set driving in my own car without a driver. As I approached the set gate of course I was stopped by security.
"Badge and proof of visitation ma'am." I handed him the badge that Roger had sent in for me and some documentation that I needed to show him saying that I was not only visiting but a consultant for the movie to help the actors get to know the true Queen. "Everything checks out Mrs. Kline, here you go and have a good day."
"You too uhh—Marvin." I read his nametag before putting my VIP badge around my neck as the gate opened and I drove on inside.
After about 10 minutes I finally was able to find a parking space. I got out of the car and locked it up before walking towards the set. I was told by Brian that the actors had been prepping for the biggest scene they were going to film, the Live Aid sequence.
When I came around and actually stepped up onto the stage, I was blown away and taken back to the summer of 1985. Jesus they—the production got every single detail down to the paint chippings. The rigged lights that Queen had the day they performed, Roger's kit and the grand piano with Freddie's Pepsi cups filled with beer.
"Oh my god. Jack if only you were here to see this." I muttered to myself. It was then I saw Brian talking to someone but—wait did he? Did he seriously dye his hair back to its original dark curls? I walked up to him but waited till he was done talking to some of the producers. Once he was I tapped his shoulder and he turned around and—oh wow I just....wow.
I don't know whether this is a prank or time travel does exist but I swear I'm literally looking at Brian the day I had met him.
"Okay it's official. I think I have finally cracked." I said as I placed my hand over my forehead.
"I'm sorry ma'am do you need to sit down or can I get you a cup of water?" Oh god he even sounds like Brian.
"Ahhh seems you two have already met. And here I thought I could surprise you." I turned and there was—Brian? My Brian with the grey curls now. Wait what!? What is going on here!?
"What the f—"
"Ah, ah language young lady!" Brian scolded.
"You must be the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline, Brian and Roger have told us a lot about you. Pardon me, Gwilym Lee." He said as he extended his hand to me. I shook it and said in awe.
"Ahhhh, now I see it. Sorry Gwilym dear, never did I think I'd see two Brian's at once. I swear to god you look—exactly like Brian when I met him."
"Anita said the exact same thing. Cheeky woman was even trying to flirt with him." Brian said as he pouted towards the end..
"No she didn't." I gawked.
"I'm afraid it's true." Gwilym said with a blush. I shook my head softly laughing.
"Oh that woman I tell you what."
"Well I can tell you one thing I know a certain someone of the cast who will flip out once he sees you." said Gwilym.
"And just who might that be?" I asked him.
"The young lad whose playing Deacy, Joe Mazzello."
"Kept ranting on and on about your Live Aid performance and how you and Deacy used to interact with each other in your performances together."
"Ahh yes. Me and my dear brother mine." I sighed with a solemn smile.
"I—I'm sorry I-I-I didn't mean to......"
"No, no Gwilym it's fine. While sometimes I do wish he could still be around, I completely understand why he chose to leave the band. Hell without Brian and Rog I—I don't even want to think what I would've done after Freddie died." I soon brushed my sorrows away and said, "Now come here Gwilym I want to get a closer look at you." he came up to me and we stood face to face of each other.
I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked him up and down before cupping each side of his face gently.
"God they chose right for my Brian. I swear, it's like Gwilym is your long lost son Bri." I said as my eyes turned toward Brian.
"I'm beginning to think you might be right." Joked Brian. I stepped back from Gwilym and said to him.
"I can't wait to see the full Live Aid recreation with you all in full costume."
"I hope we do you proud Mrs. Kline."
"First of all, call me (y/n). Secondly, I'm already proud. From what I've heard from Brian and Roger, I have no doubt in my mind that we've entrusted the right group of actors with Freddie's and Queen's upbringing tale to absolute rock gods."
"You flatter us too much (y/n)." Brian gushed.
"Only because you old fossils deserve it." I teased as I stuck my tongue out at him to which Brian did his little eyebrow quirk at me. I giggled softly and continued. "Well before filming starts, I'm gonna continue to look around the set. I'm told the lower decks where all the performers were settled in are just like how they were when we were there. Ciao Brians'." I walked away from them with a wave of my hand.
After exploring more of the set design and going down memory lane it was then I came across another look-a-like. Holding the famed natural Fender precision Bass guitar and wearing that god awful tacky shirt that I secretly wished I had told him not to wear, and having the iconic mushroom fluffy hair was the actor who was playing Deacy, Joe Mazzello.
One of the hair designers was fluffing up the wig to make sure it was up to Deacy's standard. And god just like with Gwilym, Joe was practically identical to Deacy.
It was just like seeing Deacy again back when he was happy and content with where Queen was at, just before finding out about Freddie's illness (which I had found out from Spike several years ago that Deacy had actually known since the last tour Queen ever did with Freddie).
I smiled softly as I watched him get ready for the camera. His wide smile reminded me so much of Deacy's. Slowly I walked up towards him and as the hairdresser looked him over Joe asked.
"So how does it look?"
"I think you look terrific." I said.
"Wait who said—OH MY GOD!!!" he screamed as he turned around and saw me. Like all usual fanboys, he jumped back, his mouth was gaped and his eyes were wide.
"Close your mouth please Joe dear we are not a codfish." His mouth immediately closed.
"Y-you-you-you're....."
"The Rock—"
"Rock Angel." We both said together slowly. "Call me (y/n)." I greeted as I extended my hand out to him and he took it hold of it and shook it.
"I just—I can't believe that I'm-I'm-I'm actually standing beside the Rock Angel." I softly giggled.
"Just know that beyond the glam and the rock star female empowerment, I'm just a normal 55 year old woman."
"But you still look good." He said. I quirked my brow at him so he quickly tried to save himself, "Not that you're old or anything. I mean I don't mean to offend you I just....."
"Joseph. Relax dear. I'm not offended at all. Freddie always said that I would end up being an eternal beauty. At first I thought it was just Freddie being Freddie but as the years have passed I think he—that he must be behind giving me this youthful glow."
"The Rock Angel called me dear," he first gushed with a shy smile. "Sorry I just...... I grew up listening to your albums along with Queen and the first time I saw one of your broadcast performances, I kinda had a little crush on you" He said gently.
"Aww I'm flattered Joe, really I am." I said as I gently cupped the side of his face and gave his cheek a stroke of my thumb. At that point he looked like he was about to melt into a puddle with how much joy he was probably filled with. "Now Joe forgive me for saying this, how long have you been acting?"
"I was a child actor actually. I've—always been in the acting business. Why do you ask?"
"Well besides seeing some of my brother's features I feel like I've—seen you in something before."
"You might recall a little film that came out in the 90's known as Jurassic Park?"
"Wait hold on—you...." I gasped. "You played little Tim Murphy!?!"
"Yes, yes I was Tim Murphy."
"Oh my god. When that film came out my twin boys were literally obsessed with that movie. Would not watch anything else for a full year. They even wore out the old VHS tape we had for it. Oh my god how could I not recognize you sooner?"
"Well I was 8 just turning 9 while we were filming it."
"You had a birthday while filming?"
"Yeah. It was during the kitchen scene with the raptor. I actually got injured on that day."
"What? What happened?" he then proceeded to tell me exactly what had happened. Of how the raptor they used was on wheels and he was running toward the fridge and he was supposed to go left while the raptor was supposed to go right, but the guy controlling the raptor lost control and went the same direction as Joe and he ended up getting hit in the face with a metal claw.
And it was at that moment the director Steven Spielberg and the rest of the crew sang Happy birthday to him.
Then of course he tried to ask Joe at that moment if they could try it again, but when Joe proved he couldn't do it, they wrapped for that day.
"Oh you poor thing."
"It's okay, I survived."
"Well I hope you never suffered an injury like that since then. And on your birthday too? That's never a good birthday present to get a concussion."
"I was cleared out with no concussion, just a little dizzy and a bit of bruising."
"Oh I'm sorry love, it's my inner mother instincts kicking in."
"She always was an overprotective mother." We both turned around and I saw Roger walking up sporting the black beanie I gave him for Christmas last year and another actor who was sporting the Roger Taylor look he had for Live Aid.
"Oh look who's talking smother father! For years since I've known you you've been the definition of helicopter parent." I gawked at him. "You still sometimes even threaten Jack with missing out on our dates cause of our jobs."
"And I've always told you that boy would be trouble one day." He teased as he came up to me.
"Wow so it is actually true, you guys do look at each other as father and daughter." Said the young actor playing Roger.
"Yes Ben, my adoptive daughter (Y/n) Kline, otherwise known as the Rock Angel." Roger introduced.
"So you're the young actor playing my main father figure eh?" I said as I looked at the young man.
"Yes. Ben Hardy, it's a real honor to meet you in person Mrs. Kline. To say I was nervous to meet Roger is nothing compared to the thought of meeting you."
"Are you saying I'm intimidating and unapproachable?" I asked offendedly.
"Wha? No! No! God no I-I-I-I didn't mean it that way I was just...." I interrupted him with a laugh and said.
"Dear, relax. I was just pulling your leg."
"And be thankful she was. Otherwise, I'd beat your arse boy for insulting my daughter." Roger protectively stated.
"See there you go you old hypocrite. Besides Rog you haven't been able to kick anyone's arse in years. Don't want you breaking a hip now do we?" I mocked him.
"You're lucky these boys are here little missy." Roger scolded me.
" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now then Ben, you were once on EastEnders right?" I said turning my attention back toward Ben.
"Yes. I played Peter Boyle on the show. My recent film before this was the new X-Men movie that came out about a year ago. X-Men Apocalypse."
"Ahh yes, my youngest son is always obsessed with all the superhero films. Marvel or DC. Now I'd like to see you two more closely, stand together." Both Joe and Ben followed orders and I looked both of them up and down.
Circling around them before cupping each of their faces once by one. And yes Ben was a bit more muscular than Roger was and of course they didn't get his hair right for this part in time, but there was just something in Ben's eyes that just made me think back to the first day I met Roger.
That sparkle of mischief but also protectiveness that shown through those blue eyes of his.
"That is most definitely my Roger. You both have the same spirit in your eyes. I can't wait to see how you play the drums up on that stage."
"Yeah, me neither." He said with a hint of nervousness. I then went over to Joe and cupped his face too. Just—my god just like with Deacy the profile was just uncanny. Of course, Deacy's eyes were more of a hazel type while Joe's were like a brownish type color. But I couldn't deny he looked so much like my brother. "And you my dear Joseph. Gwilym isn't the only one to resemble the man he's playing."
"It was kinda scary after getting the wig on. So much so that I called my mom and asked her what she was doing in 1983?" I laughed and said as I took my hands away from his face.
"Unfortunately, I can tell you for a fact that John Deacon is not your father. The only lady he's ever loved and will love is Veronica."
"I know." I chuckled softly.
"Now then Joe if you'll come with me there's important things I need to discuss with you."
"Like what?"
"You'll see. It was wonderful to meet you Ben, I hope we can get to know each other better later after you all film the Live Aid concert."
"Yeah of course, it was wonderful to meet you Mrs. Kline."
"Please call me (y/n). Dad you better not be too hard on this one, I like him."
"Don't worry I won't break him too much." The four of us went our separate ways.
Joe and I arrived at my trailer (all thanks to Rog and Bri). We entered inside and I told Joe to take a seat. He sat down on my couch while I went over to the kitchen.
"Tea?"
"Yes please. One sugar please."
"Just like how he liked it." I muttered to myself.
"What was that?"
"Nothing love, nothing." I prepped the tea for him and once it was done I handed him his cup and he thanked me. I watched him take a sip and he said,
"Ahh never gets old. I'm telling you after this I may just be the biggest tea fan ever."
"It is good for the soul. I myself have always found Jasmine to be the way to nirvana." I paused for a brief moment before saying, "Joe." He looked at me giving me his full attention, "As you know probably from weeks of research and maybe even from Roger and Brian themselves, Deacy chose to exempt himself from all forms of stardom. To live a quiet life with his family."
"Yeah. When I first got the part I did reach out to him on just any personal advice on certain quirks that he did. Cause even though I've played real life people before, this is the first time I'm playing someone whose still alive, and I wanted to do him justice."
"Yes, quite."
"However all I got back was just that he approved of the project and just for me to take it as any other actor would. Not that I'm saying that I'm mad at him for saying that. But I just—"
"I get it. Really I do." I took his hand and gripped onto it comfortingly. "Look. Ever since Freddie died, Deacy has been—grieving. Just like he did for me, it was Freddie who helped bring Deacy out of his shell and become more involved with the band. Not just being the bass player or the quiet guy."
"The King of the one liners, the tie breaker of Queen." Joe stated.
"Yes, although John could be loud and rowdy when he wanted to. He was definitely Queen's wildcard, but he was also their Ace. Unpredictable but incredibly brilliant. Never have I met a bass player quite like him. Nor do I think I ever will." It was quiet for what felt like forever when Joe asked me.
"Do you—do you still speak to him? I mean, cause I read that you both basically grew up close together, even for being 11 years apart from each other."
"Yes. We actually lived 20 minutes from each other back in our youth. He was and will always be my brother mine." I sighed heavily. "And to answer your question, I must remind you he's always been.....a cautious subject to me. Any remembrance of Freddie just makes him break, and as I'm sure you've seen from my concert footages I, sometimes, subconsciously find myself doing some Freddie movements on stage. Whether it's flicking my wrist like he did, strutting around the stage or waving my arms like he did. Deacy's.....he knows those things. But he's always there for me when I needed him. The last time was—on the tragedy of 9-11."
"Wait you mean....."
"Jack's cousin Jared and his wife Gen, they—they were on the plane that was overtaken by the terrorists. Took five days to finally find their bodies. Jared holding Gen in his arms. It was a risk but—I knew Jack needed more support than just his American family. So he and I went over to John and Veronica's place. We went at the early mornings of course just so that way no one would spot us driving in midday and try to track us down, then at sunrise we walked up to the door and—there he was. When Jack told him what had happened, he—actually invited us in and allowed us to stay the entire time. He ended up being the right support Jack needed."
"Your husband and John were close?"
"Oh yes. More alike than you know. Both incredibly talented bass players. That's how Jack got Deacy's approval when Jack and I started hanging out. He even gave my husband private lessons."
"Wow."
"Yes. They were practically inseparable the two of them for that summer. Even during their rehearsals, you would see Deacy go in the corner and practice what riffs he'd teach my Jack next. However that was the last time I ever actually saw Deacy, 16 long years ago. Haven't gotten in contact with him since. But occasionally, at least according to Brian, he asks them how I'm doing as well as Jack."
"I hope he's living a quiet and happy life with his kids and wife."
"I know they are. I still keep in contact with Ronnie whenever I can, sometimes we go out shopping, fawn over grandchildren pics, and just catching up. She was the mother I needed when I first had Kelly."
"Sounds like she was the ultimate mama."
"You have no idea." I felt Joe place his free hand on top of mine that still had his. I smiled softly at him before I got down to the real reason why I brought him here. "Joseph, now I know that when it comes to acting, Hollywood can pick whomever they deem worthy for a role, especially if it's for a real person. I'll be honest with you; hearing your American accent puts me a little on edge. Cause I have heard some pretty bad English accents on screen that just make me want to pull my ears off agonizingly slow. Now I know Deacy has probably the most unique accent from anyone in Leicester, I mean you hear my accent and I sound nothing like his dialect. So what I want to ask of you, just for the sake of you playing my brother, may I hear you speak with John's accent?"
"What-what would you like me to say?"
"Maybe say what you did for the audition. Or anything that comes to your head. It doesn't even have to be an interview Deacy did, I just want to hear your accent." He nodded before sitting back on the couch while I leaned back on the chair.
He adjusted himself before finally miming that he was driving a car before he finally spoke about when Deacy first joined the band. The one interview he did during the 'News of the World' tour with Bob Harris.
I felt like at that moment my heart had stopped. My hands slowly covered my mouth in a prayer style while the corner of my eyes watered. And sure there were certain words that he said that still sounded American but—this was my brother. I....I was actually looking at my brother right now. They got it right.
By the end of it, Joe looked at me and his eyes grew concerned as he said.
"Did I screw up?" I stood up from my chair in silence. I then walked over to him and knelt down in front of him cupping his face. A wide smile spread across my face as I immediately hugged him and softly sobbed.
"You are my Deacy! My brother mine." I then felt him embrace me back and the two of us rocked side to side. I looked up to the heavens praying that Fred was looking down knowing he would've loved Joe playing his Deacy. "If you ever need any advice or help, I'm here for you. Promise me Joe Mazzello that you will come to me with anything regarding Deacy."
"I promise (y/n)." he still spoke with Deacy's accent which filled me with both sorrow and happiness.
We stayed that way for god knows how long. After composing myself, we left my trailer when one of the volunteers came up to us and said.
"Joe, they're ready to start filming the concert."
"Shall we go on?" I asked.
"Yes, let's." God he had my brother's quick wit already. He crooked his arm out which made me grin softly. I looped my arm through his and the two of us walked on towards the Live Aid stage.
I stood alongside Roger, Peter Freestone (Freddie's former assistant and the other consultant for the film) as well as Brian's youngest daughter Emily (who in every way was so much like her father from the hair to the smile).
"I think this will be a great shoot, don't you think (y/n)?" asked Peter.
"Indeed Pheebs. And I'm sure Freddie would've loved to have seen it."
"He would indeed." He said as he wrapped an arm around me and soon Brian came and stood beside us after being backstage with the young actors who then came out just as Queen did that day back in 85. When I saw the young actor playing our Freddie, I was already impressed.
Sure he was skinnier than Freddie was, but seeing him move about just as Freddie did it was like I was seeing Freddie right before my eyes. The boys got into position and soon began to perform the entire Live Aid concert.
Besides actually being there and seeing them perform from the wings that day over 30 years ago, this was about the greatest concert performance I had ever seen.
The boys in full costume had everything down. Gwilym channeled Brian's solo on Bohemian Rhapsody, Ben was pretty impressive on the drums, Joe had Deacy's rhythmic moves down, and the young man playing Freddie he—it was beyond what I could imagine. He wasn't just moving like Freddie, it was like he knew why Freddie would move a certain way to a song.
I was in awe cause it felt like I had actually traveled back in time and was watching Queen's most historical performance once again. I stood behind Brian and wrapped my arms around his shoulders leaning up against his head smiling from ear to ear, I felt Brian take one of my hands and gently patted it every now and then.
When the Aye-Oh's happened I could help but lowered my head and holding my laughs of joy. I swear when this is over, I need to talk to this new actor playing Freddie cause unlike Sacha, this was our Freddie. Soon Hammer to Fall came on and I couldn't help but bop my head along to the song.
I felt a tap at my shoulder and I turned to see Emily holding her phone out with the notes app open. In the app it read.
'Is this how you remember it Aunt (y/n)?' I walked towards her and gestured for me to have her phone. She handed it to me and I typed out.
'Everything and more. God I wish your cousin Kelly could've been here to see this as well as your uncle Jack. They would've loved it.' I showed her my message and she came up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders as the two of us smiled happily up at the stage.
When Hammer to Fall concluded, the extras and even me and team Queen applauded. I let out a loud whistle from the sidelines as I applauded and took pictures with my own phone to show Jack and the kids later. Now I recall that it was at this time the guys ended up surprising me and the world with our duet "Set it all free" instead of the planned 'Crazy Little thing called love'.
Now I've been skeptical about having a biopic film about me, even though I knew both Queen and Elton were starting theirs at the same time, hell one of the producers Dexter Fletcher is currently directing Elton's film 'Rocketman' as we speak right now. So I didn't know if they would plan to do Crazy little thing or if they'd go the set as it was all those years ago.
I got my answer however when Ben started to play the drum intro to my song.
"You guys didn't." I muttered.
"We wanted to be historically accurate with the Live Aid set." Brian started.
"So we cooked up a little surprise for you." Roger said. It was then I heard the actor playing Freddie began chanting out along with the audience "An-gel! An-gel! An-gel!" it was then I saw a young girl come out and—by god it was like looking at my younger self from that day.
She was dressed exactly how I was with a pregnant belly suit underneath her shirt. Her hair was designed the same way as mine was, everything just took me back. Instead of a playback that the Freddie actor was using for all the singing, this young woman was actually singing and she had a pretty good voice.
I continued to watch in awe as the young woman basically became me doing each step or movement I did that day on Live Aid. I felt Brian and Roger wrap their arms around me as I couldn't even take my eyes off the young woman up on stage. I could hear the extras singing out the lyrics, even some of the crew members were bopping their heads and singing along.
She walked across the stage at the second verse right towards the Freddie actor and just like Fred and I did, they stood forehead to forehead singing the duet before she walked back out and went back to center stage. When the guitar solo came on, my eyes turned to Gwilym and he amazed me that he actually could do my hard rock solo.
After the song was over, the crowd applauded and cheered and I turned to the guys and hugged them and whispered into their ears.
"If this is you guys way of trying to get me to sign onto a biopic film......I'm highly considering it after seeing her."
"We'll introduce you later." Said Roger as we separated from the hug and we turned our attention back to the guys as We Will Rock you now began playing. I couldn't help myself by stomp my feet to the rhythm and mouth out the words.
I was just amazed by not only Gwilym's guitar playing but also the young man who moved just like how I remembered seeing Freddie move, using the mic stand as Fred always did (the cheeky man), even the facial expressions that he made were exactly like they were.
It wasn't until when 'We are the champions' came on that I could barely hold my tears in. Seeing not only Fred's actor but my actor singing the famed Queen anthem that has literally been played in every victory sport or award winning singing competition.
Seeing the two of them interact with each other, it was pure nostalgia.
By the end of the song, tears welled up in my eyes and I looked toward the heavens hoping that Freddie could see this and running through my mind I already knew what he'd say.
"Amazing jobs my darlings, not as fabulous as me but very, very close." When the extras and even some crew members cheered, Brian, Roger, Peter, Emily and myself all applauded and cheered for the boys and that's when the director called cut.
"This.....is gonna be a great movie." I said.
"I think so too. After just seeing them come together like that, I think we've finally casted the right people to play us." Said Brian.
"I agree you two, I'm liking what I've just seen so far." Roger said.
"And—I'm sure he would've liked this too." I said solemnly. I felt Roger gently rub my back and Brian said.
"I know he would."
After a few more takes of filming the Live Aid concert, the director said that it was enough for today. I walked around the set to find the producer Graham King and when I approached him I asked him.
"Graham tell me, who's the young man you got to play Freddie?"
"Oh his name is Rami Malek. His recent project was a show called Mr. Robot."
"Ahh yes I've heard of that, my Freddie is obsessed with that show. Never misses an episode."
"When we were casting Freddie I happened to come across an episode and when I saw him I—just thought I was looking at Freddie. So we brought him in, he gave us a mock interview as well as an audition that your boys saw when they first met him. And from then on it just fell into place. Do you approve of him? Is there a problem Mrs. Kline?"
"Absolutely not. Do you know where I can find Rami at right now?"
"Probably in hair and makeup getting undressed."
"Well, when he is done would you be so kind as to bring him to my trailer?"
"Of course (y/n)." I nodded in gratitude and walked off to my trailer.
I sat there once again on the chair looking through an old photo album. Each picture held a deep and personal memory for me, I thought back to the day that each picture was taken and remembered exactly what was going on at that very moment.
A knock was soon heard at my trailer. I composed myself with a deep exhale and said.
"Come in." the door opened and there without costume or the tache was Rami Malek.
"Graham said you wanted to see me Mrs. Kline?"
"Yes Rami, love please come in." he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. "Take a seat." I gestured towards the couch. He sat right where Joe had sat down earlier this morning and I said. "Would you care for a biscuit, or as Americans call them cookies?"
"Uhh yes please." I smiled and handed him a tray of biscuits I always kept around me (hey a woman's gotta have her sweet tooth fix right?) and handed him my best plate of chocolate chip cookies (all thanks to my mother in law's secret recipe). He thanked me as he took one and took a bite out of it. "Mmm. Oh my god," he cleared his throat and closed his mouth before finishing the biscuit up. "This is so good."
"Thank you, it was my mother in law's secret recipe. She passed it onto me shortly before Kelly was born." He took another bite of it and swallowed that piece before saying as he set it down on a napkin that I had also provided.
"What-what was it you needed to see me for Mrs.—"
"Before we continue, I'll ask you to call me the same way I've asked the other three of the band to call me. Call me (y/n)."
"Yes of course, (y/n). What was it you wanted to see me for? Is it to talk about what you saw out there? Did I screw it up already?"
"No, no dear relax. This is nothing in the way you're thinking." I saw him take a sigh of relief.
"Oh good. Cause I know I obviously wasn't the first choice for the job."
"In my books Rami, you should've been the first one to be called for the role."
"Really?"
"Oh yes, but first there's a couple of questions that I want to ask you that Brian and Roger might not have asked you, and I want you to answer them as Freddie would've."
"Okay." I smiled softly and stood up from my seat as I set the phot album aside.
"Who is Queen not without?"
"That's easy. It's you darling. There's no Queen without their beloved Rock Angel, and no Rock Angel without her four aging Queens." I felt my heart clench at hearing Rami speak with a British tone. The softness of his voice almost sounded identical to Freddie's voice. I turned towards him and walked towards the kitchen area of my trailer.
"Who is it that you trust the most?"
"Mary. Mary is the one I trust the most. For she knows me like no one else ever will." I reached the kitchen and rested my hand against the island.
"Who are you?" Rami looked at me before finally answering something that would forever stun me.
"I've been asked that all my life. By my family, student peers, professors, the entire world. I've been told who I should strive to be but I say fuck what they say. They don't define me. No, I decided who I am. I'm going to be what I was born to be. A performer who gives the people what they want." He pointed towards the ceiling as he whispered, "touch of the heavens." He dropped his hand before finally answering, "Freddie Fucking Mercury."
My lips quivered and I ducked my head as tears began falling down my face for—god knows how many times right now.
"Oh (y/n) I—I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry, I—did I say something wrong?" Rami said urgently as he stood up and stood in front of me.
"No." I choked out. I sniffled and that's when he handed me a tissue. Oh ever the kind gentleman and concerned about my wellbeing, just like Freddie was. "No you—you've prove to me that you know just who Freddie truly was."
"Didn't want to be put in a certain category or be stereotyped." He said. I nodded as I wiped my tears with the tissue he had given me.
"For as long as I have known Freddie, especially to his last, various people have chosen one of two sides. There's the one side that the press made him out to be. The one that-that—bastard Cohen wanted to portray Freddie as. The wild, crazed, homosexual drug addict. That he deserved what he had gotten because he was so reckless and stupid. That AIDS was his form of suicide. Never did I want to punch and murder so many people. Every time I got asked about whether Freddie's death was his own fault, I just wanted to rip the interviewer apart."
"I can see why. I bet a lot of true fans and the people who knew Freddie well would've done what you've felt like doing."
"But people like you Rami, who understand that Freddie wasn't just a frontman or greatest performer to ever live. That he did come from a harsh background but rose above all the trials and tribulations that came his way to define himself as he sought out to be. That's why he was my biggest idol." I grabbed the photo album and sat down on the couch and opened it up taking out a picture that was always a favorite of mine.
It was a picture that Deacy took of Freddie and I together just after my very first performance as the Rock Angel at Madison Square Garden. Fred's arms wrapped around me as he had picked me up, huge wide smiles were spread across our faces. I felt a dip on my left side I looked up to see Rami sitting close beside me. He looked down at the picture before saying.
"Was this your first performance?"
"Yes. Out of four members of Queen, it was Freddie Mercury who truly believed that I could make a name for myself in the industry. Taught me everything there was into getting the self-confidence I needed to get up on that stage. Sure we had our ups and downs, but through all the falls we had, he never gave up on me. He gave up on no one that he loved. And Rami," we looked at each other and I told him the utmost truth, "If he were alive today, he would've loved you."
He smiled as I gently touched his cheek and the two of us looked through my photo album of every picture Freddie and I took throughout the 11 years I knew him.
At the end of the day, just before the four boys left to go hang out at a pub nearby, I stepped in and offered.
"Why not have dinner over at my place boys?"
"Oh we couldn't impose." Said Joe.
"Nonsense Joe, I insist and I won't take no for answer. Plus it'll be a more homely environment. You boys can't live on catering and pub foods for the next several months to a year. No I absolutely won't have it."
"Best go along with her boys, she got her persuasion from the best there was." Roger added in.
"Well—if you think it's a good idea." Said Gwilym.
"Of course it is. Now come on, you four can fit in my car. Let's go. Meet you there Brian and Roger?"
"We'll be right behind you love." Said Brian. I gestured the boys to follow me to my car. Ben sat up in the passenger seat, Joe sat behind him, Rami was in the middle and Gwilym sat behind me. I turned the engine on and told everyone to buckle up (mama instincts what can I say?) and we pulled out of the gate and I drove us on home.
"So (y/n), what other kind of music do you listen to?" asked Joe.
"Whatever song has a good voice and a good beat, with no autotune I will love. You can look through my Spotify and see what I have." Ben took my phone out of the phone holder and turned around as Joe took over the controls and went to my Spotify.
"Wow there are a lot of songs. And I thought you would've just stuck with what you grew up on."
"Unlike most rockstars like Roger who think everything after 1979 basically became trash music with the rise of pop or as they called it 'disco'. I'm a little more open minded. But I deny all songs that use explicit language every three words, degrading women, or promotes violence."
"You even got some old Christina Aguilera songs on here?" asked Rami.
"Who do you think helped produce her?"
"Shut the front door. You produced Christina Aguilera?"
"Yeah. I even gave her rights to a song that I wanted to do. But even singing it brought back some old wounds. So since I was helping her produce her album at the time, I turned to song over to her."
"What song was it?" asked Ben.
"Fighter."
"Shut up! That was literally my jam."
"I can attest to that. Throughout the filming of The Pacific, he would never shut that song off when getting into Eugene's character for certain episodes." Rami rose his hand.
"Yeah. I have an entire playlist of some songs I helped produce or make. You can play that playlist if you'd like. Or my typical playlist my boys best songs."
"I think in the light of our first day filming, we should go with Queen. What do you guys say?" Joe asked.
"Agree."
"Yep."
"Oh yeah."
"Aright then Joe, we'll each pick our favorite Queen song. You're up first little Tim." He grinned and scrolled through my playlist until Somebody to love came up on the speakers. "Read my mind Joseph." The piano began playing and that's when I vocalized alongside Freddie and the five of us began singing the song at the top of our lungs.
The entire car ride contained each of us picking our top favorite songs. Ben did 'White Queen' which I commended on him cause people nowadays tend to forget the old Queen songs, Gwilym picked Love of my Life, Rami chose Radio Gaga, and I, of course chose Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thanks to Wayne's world (yes I saw the movie and yes it was silly but just the opening scene alone made the movie worth watching) we basically did the same motion by motion that those boys did in the film when the operatic section came on. And of course when the headbanging rock out came on, the boys proceeded to bang their hands while I did mine not as aggressively (responsible driving kids!)
We continued to rock out to the song and it wasn't until by the end of the song that we soon arrived at my home. I pulled the car up into the garage and hit the clicker button which opened up the garage door and I pull inside just as the last line came up and Roger's gong rang off. I shut the engine and said.
"Here we are boys, welcome to casa de la Kline." We all exited out of my car and right behind us as scheduled were Brian and Roger with Bri getting out of the driver's seat. "Bout time you two got here, I was beginning to worry that I'd need to call in an ambulance."
"We're old dear, not dead." Roger sassed at me.
"But I still love you old coots. Just like I said all those years ago."
"That I do remember, the day right after you got so shitfaced after your 21st birthday. You remember that Brian?" Roger said.
"Indeed I do Rog, I even remember what we did to her to get her to apologize, think we need to do it again?"
"That might have to be arranged."
"Oh no you guys don't! We're not doing that now, now let's get inside before we all catch a cold." I guided them all inside. Once we stepped through the backdoor of the garage I could already smell something cooking, and I knew who exactly was cooking at this rate. "Baby! I'm home!" I called out from the hallway.
We turned the corner and soon came to the kitchen where a young man of 19 (going on 20 in a couple months) stood by the oven. He shut it off and turned around. He was every bit like his father when I first met him back in '83, but he had my eyes. When he saw me, he softly smiled and I came up to him.
"Sorry I didn't call in advance telling you that we would have more guests than your uncles."
"No worries mom. You know I've always cooked way more than I should." I smiled and cupped his face and we kissed each other's cheek. "Uncle Brian, uncle Roger."
"Hello Fred." Brian greeted.
"Hey lad, how's school been?"
"Oh you know, NYU's a challenge but I manage." He then directed his attention towards the young actors but when he eyes landed on Rami, he quickly grabbed my arm and whispered to me. "You didn't tell me you'd be bringing Rami Malek to our house!"
"Again slipped my mind." I teased him.
"Mom how dare you bring my celebrity crush here without telling me, look at me I'm a mess."
"Oh you're fine. Now best behavior." I wrapped an arm around my son and said. "Boys, this is my youngest son Freddie Mercury Kline. Fred, these are the boys that will be playing your uncles. This is Joe Mazzello, he'll be playing your uncle Deacy. Ben Hardy who's playing your old uncle Roger."
"Watch it lion cub." Rog warned me. I gave him a cheeky look before continuing the introductions.
"Gwilym Lee will be playing your uncle Brian, and you know Rami, he'll be playing the man you were named after."
"Uncle Freddie?"
"Yes. And—from what I've seen so far, you'll finally get to meet him through the screen."
"I don't doubt that. I'm a big fan of yours Rami, your role in Mr. Robot has been—amazing."
"I'm honored."
"Alright since we've all had a long day today, let's get some grub. Everyone grab a plate." I grabbed some extra plates from the cabinet and handed four plates out to the actors and we all assembled around the island to grab a piece of lasagna, peas, mashed potatoes with gravy and Hawaiian rolls.
Once we gathered around the table I set out the iced tea Jack had made a couple of days ago as well as some champagne or wine. "Okay guys, before we dig in I want all hands on deck." I extended my hand out.
Freddie immediately placed his hand on top of mine, Brian and Rog soon followed after and it was then Rami, Gwilym, Joe and finally Ben placed their hands on top.
"Thank you for this family, thank you for this meal. Thank you for this day. It'll be a wild ride, but I feel this movie will soar, and—that this new family will forever stay." I said ending the traditional family prayer. The young actors looked at me with warm eyes and soft smiles.
"Alright, let's dig in. You boys will never eat the same way again once you taste (y/n)'s cooking." Roger said.
"That bad?" joked Joe. I gawked at the young cheeky actor.
"On the contrary she's the best chief on this side of London. Even when she was an intern she made us this one Christmas pudding that was to die for." Brian spoke on my behalf.
"It's true. She put all the other PTA mom's to shame when it came to my school's bake sales." Freddie said as he took a bite of his lasagna.
The entire dinner was filled with talks about our lives, stories and embarrassing moments in life. Not a single person was excluded from a conversation. After dinner, Rami and Gwilym helped Freddie with the dishes while I got some other scrapbooks out and bonded a bit with Ben and Joe about my time with Rog and Deacy.
"Now this Joe was taken during my first Japan tour. At the very garden where Queen went to near the Tokyo tower, Deacy refused to let me leave without having a cherry blossom crown."
"He seems to be doing good in the picture."
"Except one twig got so tangled in my hair it literally took 15 minutes just to get it out." We both laughed before I turned the page and found a great picture of me and Roger. "Now this picture Ben, both Roger and I have this picture, this was taken after my first Hyde Park performance."
"She performed to an audience of half of what Queen did when we performed at Hyde Park." Roger spoke.
"She could've performed for more but times changed and better security measure for the public's safety prevented it from happening again." Brian added.
"One thing's for sure, I was damn well proud of her for performing at her biggest crowd at the time just barely two years into her career." Roger spoke again. I looked up and winked at him.
"You guys really do have that father-daughter bond don't you?" Joe said.
"Have ever since she gave me the real 1 and 3/7th's sugar."
"It wasn't until Brian told me the next day that Roger just says that to pull people's leg. God I felt embarrassed after that."
"Aww lovie, but it was due to that I became your favorite. And I don't regret it as I'm sure you don't."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." As Gwilym, Rami and Freddie came back in I continued going through the scrapbook sharing my photos of my days with Queen with the boys, and allowing Freddie to finally hear all the stories that he was denied cause of my grief.
As the night got darker and darker, the young actors at this moment were so full of food and exhausted from a long day's filming they actually passed out along my living room. Joe and Ben cuddled up on the couch, Rami asleep on the recliner, while Gwilym was curled up along the loveseat.
Meanwhile I was watching over them and couldn't help but think it was like seeing my boys all over again. I remember back when I was still an intern and would see the guys all passed out whether at Freddie's parties or in the studio, I always had to provide the guys comfort (which I never minded). So seeing these four young men passed out just brought me a sense of nostalgia.
"I got the spare blankets mom."
"Thank you dear. Your uncles tucked in the spare bedrooms?"
"Uncle Brian's in the room across yours and dad's and uncle Roger is in Georgie's old room."
"Good boy." I then proceeded to cover up and adjust the young actors. I wrapped both Joe and Ben in the same blanket and closed Joe's mouth gently so that he wouldn't drool in his sleep, followed by giving them each a soft kiss goodnight. Without trying to wake him up, I uncurled Gwilym from his pretzel position and covered him up.
I gingerly stroked through his hair before placing a soft kiss to his temple. He groaned and lifted his head up which allowed me to place a pillow underneath him. He hummed in content as he snuggled into it. I then went over to Rami and adjusted the seat so that he would be more comfortable. Pressing the button on our automatic recliner, his legs slowly rose up before finally stopping in full recliner mode.
I tucked him in while looking down at him. God even without the tache it was like looking at Freddie from when I first met him in person at a concert, long before I became an intern. I gently kissed his cheek before faintly stroking his cheek.
Sitting outside along the deck, Freddie and I were looking up at the stars.
"So you think this movie's gonna be a hit?"
"Critics are always hard to please, no matter if it's music or movies. From what I've read of the script yes there's misinformation but that's why it's called a biopic. There's some truth but it's the touch of Hollywood in order to make the film not a boring documentary. But those four boys, they are just how I remember your uncles being when I not only worked with them, but grew up with them hearing their music."
"I wish I had gotten the chance to meet uncle Freddie." Fred said after a brief moment of silence. I turned to him to see him looking down sadly.
"So do I love. He would've loved you as much as he did your brothers and sister. And he would've been over the moon had he found that I had named you after him." I brought my baby close and he wrapped his arms around me as we both looked up at the moon and the stars together.
The star right by the moon glowed the brightest, the very same star that shined just as bright the night after the tribute concert we did back in '92. I couldn't help as a tear slid down my face and a smile spread across my face.
I knew that it was Freddie's star, telling me that he was watching us and that he was proud.
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